The shaft.....

[marston]

I went into what was supposed to be a collaborative divorce, only to watch my ex and both her and my attorney carpet bomb me.

The lawyers took forever to do anything. Example. I created a budget spreadsheet for my ex and myself in great detail, my attorney wrote the numbers on a white board so her attorney could write them on a legal pad, so that he could have his paralegal enter them into a spreadsheet. For that I paid $3000.

After months - I lose custody of kids - only to see them one weekend a month
Essentially, since I work 8 hours a day and have a 3hr commute per day, she was able to demonstrate that I don't have any time to spend with my kids - even though I'm getting home by 6:30p every evening, even with those hours. But I'm required to live within 10 miles of the kids - even though I won't see them but one weekend a month or I'll lose the right to see them at all.



I'll pay 23% of my income in spousal support and child support, another 13% to send my kids to private school, another 9% to pay for my ex to be re-educated, 25% to federal income and FICA. The legal fees now equal another 13% of my income, other debts take 10% of my income. Meaning I get to live off of 7% of what I make. Everyone else got a piece of me except me.

Oh - and my ex left me with an equalization payment that had to be paid over 6 years that equates to another 1.5% of my salary - so in reality, I only have 5.5% of what I make to live on.....that leave me with $900/mo to cover rent, utilities, gas, insurance and food.....

Not to mention I will have over $70,000 of debt to some how pay off too.

I

[Fatheroffour]

Wow. I knew "Collaborative divorce" was another term for "Someone's taking a screwing" but that's a rough deal you got there.

But I'm required to live within 10 miles of the kids - even though I won't see them but one weekend a month or I'll lose the right to see them at all.

Can you explain how you got less parenting time than the standard worst case scenario in a normal run of the mill bitterly contested divorce? I'd also like to know under what legal concept you lose all rights to see your children because of where you live.

Was your attorney sitting behind bullet proof glass as he was explaining all this to you?

[hanzblinx]

If $900 is 5.5% of your net then at least you have prospects for when you get your legal bills and domestic support orders finished. Do like William Shatner, live in your car after divorce, then bounce back and be rich and famous for the rest of your life.

[Thermite]

I'm not understanding the whole process here. It sounds like all this was NOT ordered by a judge- it sounds like both lawyers came up with this in negotiations and pressured you to sign it. Is that correct? If so, why didn't you just refuse to accept such a lousy deal & take your chances in front of a judge? Has this already been signed by the judge?

[soccer rocker]

From what I understand about the collaborative process either party can walk away at any time and both parties must retain new counsel to pursue any other option (litigation, mediation). Sounds like this would have been the time to walk away.