Is this a violation of the TRO

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Is this a violation of the TRO

Postby mygirlsaremylife » Sat Aug 18, 2012 9:10 pm

The NJ called last night to check on the girls
She spoke to both kiddos and then when i was handed the phone as i wanted to make sure she would be OK with the babysitting arrangements for our day in court.

She agreed, then questioned me as to why the usual babysitter wasnt taking care of them ( my mother) i told her she wanted to be in the court room to provide support (and testify if needed, but i didnt tell her that)

She proceeded to call me "Evil" a "mother fker" an "< Hole >" because she says i am taking the kids away from her. the conversation carried on for 21 minutes where i kept my cool as i have for these last 3 weeks.

I explained to her, i am not mad, i am not bitter and the only thing that is of my concern is the well being of the kids, she proceeded to yell, be rude and simply hostile over the phone with me for the rest of the 21 minutes, until she got upset and hung up.

Now the TRO says that we cannot get upset at each other, we cannot yell nor can we insult each other while the divorce is under proceedings.

Is this something i need to tell my lawyer? would it hold any weight in court? i am meeting with him Tuesday to go over the game plan for Wednesday

I got smart and got her to admit the name calling and insulting on a text message today she also admitted that she is mostly at fault for the divorce and i am wondering if can use this to my advantage...

Ive kept radio silence for the most part (as suggested here), i listen to her rants and keep quiet, or act indifferent... the only reason why i spoke to her was to make sure the babysitting arrangements were ok with her.
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Re: Is this a violation of the TRO

Postby Fatheroffour » Sat Aug 18, 2012 9:20 pm

the only reason why i spoke to her was to make sure the babysitting arrangements were ok with her.


Why is it important the sitting arrangements are ok with her?

Either way, quit talking to her. Send an email or text.

Assuming your attorney bills by the hour, don't waste your time bothering him with it. Just quit talking to her.
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Re: Is this a violation of the TRO

Postby defaultuser » Sat Aug 18, 2012 9:20 pm

Ask your lawyer and use it if it helps.
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Re: Is this a violation of the TRO

Postby mygirlsaremylife » Sat Aug 18, 2012 9:33 pm

Fatheroffour wrote:
the only reason why i spoke to her was to make sure the babysitting arrangements were ok with her.


Why is it important the sitting arrangements are ok with her?

Either way, quit talking to her. Send an email or text.

Assuming your attorney bills by the hour, don't waste your time bothering him with it. Just quit talking to her.


Ive gone as far as removing the ring tone from her phone calls and text messages however given that we are both responsible for the care of the girls for the time being (at least until the temp hearing) i thought it would be something necessary to have her at least know what the babysitting plans are.

She was also supposed to spend time with the kids today, but she did not make it.

Ive said nothing about it, just noted it and moved on however it pissed me off as i had to keep the girls home all day and missed out on going to the park and pool as we had planned.
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Re: Is this a violation of the TRO

Postby Fatheroffour » Sat Aug 18, 2012 9:55 pm

i thought it would be something necessary to have her at least know what the babysitting plans are.


Email her.

Why you would want to talk to her for 20 minutes while she berates you is not understandable unless you're just playing Oksana to her Mel. If so, go for it and keep baiting her but don't be surprised if the judge sees it that way.

Your divorcing and you have the upper hand. Quit talking to her.
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Re: Is this a violation of the TRO

Postby mygirlsaremylife » Sat Aug 18, 2012 10:13 pm

Fatheroffour wrote:
i thought it would be something necessary to have her at least know what the babysitting plans are.


Email her.

Why you would want to talk to her for 20 minutes while she berates you is not understandable unless you're just playing Oksana to her Mel. If so, go for it and keep baiting her but don't be surprised if the judge sees it that way.

Your divorcing and you have the upper hand. Quit talking to her.


no i am not baiting her, ive been as calm and indifferent to this whole situation... especially since the suggestions on this board mention it a lot.

a paralegal friend of mine mentioned that i could use the events form last night as a bargaining tool when it comes to mediation or right before it... so i was just wondering if this is something worth using or not.
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Re: Is this a violation of the TRO

Postby Fatheroffour » Sat Aug 18, 2012 10:16 pm

Depends on her I guess.

Did you record it?
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Re: Is this a violation of the TRO

Postby Anything4Her » Sun Aug 19, 2012 8:21 am

I wouldn't count on this being significant. You could, and should, have simply hung up the phone.
Don't talk to her. Send an email.
mygirlsaremylife wrote: the only reason why i spoke to her was to make sure the babysitting arrangements were ok with her

WHY?!?! Act like the primary parent. After you are divorced you will not be consulting her on what babysitter you are using, so don't do it now.
Set your life up and act the same way you intend to act after the divorce. You do not need her permission for what the kids are doing on your time.
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Re: Is this a violation of the TRO

Postby Trevor » Sun Aug 19, 2012 10:55 am

First, you're still angry so you have not "moved on." Second, if she had parenting time today, how did you have plans to go to the pool and park, did you mean by yourself? Third, if she is more that 30 minutes late, why sit around the house all day? Go to the park and the pool and let her pick the kids up from there. You make things difficult for yourself; why? [Rhet.] It makes it harder for the kids when you don't handle things better.
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Re: Is this a violation of the TRO

Postby a dad » Sun Aug 19, 2012 9:10 pm

Sounds like you've been acting indifferent - cool. On the phone for 21 minutes - not cool. Unless you are doing this purposefully and recording, the "end call" button on your phone was built just for her. I have never hung up on people before but when my stbx is yelling profanities..."gotta run" click (but I'm in a 2-party state). And don't answer her call backs. I usually receive a mellower email sometime later.

Are you certain the TRO does not contain the words "in the presence of the children"?
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