Can anyone be trusted?

[texasdad2012]

I used to think so, but now I'm not sure. I'm not even sure it's healthy to do so. I'd like to hear other men's thoughts on this: do you still feel willing or able to wholeheartedly trust another woman?

I'm not talking about "trust but verify" either... saying you trust her but also checking her phone records, odometer readings, emails and browser history on the sly. I'm talking about the kind of trust where you would bet a million dollars they would never betray you and feel no need to snoop.

[mbxdad]

Yep. 'cuz not trusting is no way to live.

[KeepingMyKids]

NJ really screwed me over here, screwed my kids over, and does it all with a smile on her face and a song in where her heart should be. Now I'm married to someone I'd known nine years before we ever went on a date, we get along perfectly, MUCH more in common than NJ and I ever had. I trust her.

But if something looked suspicious, I'd look into it in a heartbeat.

[Fatheroffour]

I'm not checking anyones odometer and I'm not betting a million dollars on anyones ethics.

[a dad]

Still going through it and I would have lost a million dollars betting on stbx. I'm not looking to be put in that position again. Maybe someday, but I don't see it happening anytime soon.

If you get into a life changing car accident, aren't you going to drive more cautiously?

[i_won_sorta]

Ya I did. Just make sure your NJ meter is certified and calibrated

[Tyrell]

Just make sure your NJ meter is certified and calibrated

+1

[Trevor]

I will trust, and the trust and verify I'll do is with her. The judge and jury will be my intuition, and any evidence that happens to fall into my lap.

I don't want a mere 75% relationship; I'll stay single until I find a woman who earns the 100% and who makes it clear to me that she is in 100% too. If I feel any encroachment on that trust, I'll ask her for the truth. If I feel I am getting the truth. I'm fine. If contrary or further suspicious evidence arises, depending on the severity of the circumstances, I'll either raise it again or she can consider me gone.

I have fallen into that trap of checking cell phone bills, rifling though her purse, and more, during the demise of my marriage. Let me tell you, I will never do that to myself again. I will be out of her reach if behavior like that crosses my mind. That self-torment is brutal and will ruin you. A situation like that in a relationship is simply not worth it.

[defaultuser]

+1. I remember feeling all sick every time I looked at the text message logs of my wife's phone. Never again.

I don't think of things in terms of trust anymore. I think my perspective has changed. Instead of closing my eyes and jumping in with both feet, better or worse (especially when all the red flags pointed to worse) and choose to trust someone completely, I think I've learned to take life as it comes.

I'll openly and honestly say that I'm passive aggressive toward women and all jaded and everything. This comes and goes depending on how much time and money I'm spending on family court issues, but I want to find someone to be with in the future.

When that day comes, I won't bet on her or place all my hopes, dreams, and happiness in her lap. I will forever be responsible for my own hopes, dreams, and happiness and if I find someone to share that with, I will share. If I decide that its prudent to make a commitment to that person, I will.

If I do make a commitment, it will be only that I will give my love freely with no expectations. If I don't get what I want in return, then no hard feelings on my end, I'll move on. No more sniveling needy bltch defaultuser. I've grown up I think to be more realistic about relationships and what you can expect from others.

[BubbaGumpShrimp]

It was pretty early on that I lost that kind of trust in NJ. Do I think that I could ever trust a woman completely again? Yes. However, I think that as the others said...my NJ radar will be on from the moment I meet the woman and I'll pay attention to red flags next time around.

I also learned from what is called the white night syndrome here. I flat out will not get myself involved with another female that brings less to the table than myself. I'm not talking strictly of $$$$. I'm talking about someone that's 100% self-sustaining and doesn't NEED me to get by. NJ appeared self-sustaining on the surface. However, If I'd have stepped back and looked at her family dynamic...I'd have realized that it was just an illusion.