Question for guys that were awarded spousal support...

[BubbaGumpShrimp]

Did your NJ pay it willingly, or did you have to wait and drag her into court?

The judge ordered her to pay me 50% of her take-home ($1,100). She's got to pay another 25% towards utilities ($500) and another ~20% on health insurance ($400). That's not going to leave her much clubbing and whoring around money. I'm thinking that was the judges way of telling her to take a hint and get out of my house. I'm hoping that she vacates early and doesn't trash the place...we'll see.

[Chosen2Dad]

I am one that could be...while we are still in steps of divorce, custody being the biggest issue, I am one entitled to it. My guess would be I could negotiate that for something else and get nothing. If we go to litigation because of custody, I will be going for spousal support.

strong case due to difference in salary and my prior sacrifice of my job...downside is length of marriage.

[Anything4Her]

So her take home is $2200 and she is paying a total of $2000. That doesn't leave much to eat on.
Is this b/c she is in your house that you are paying the mortgage on?

As for her cooperation, the best predictor of future behavior is past actions. I don't think you can count on her paying voluntarily. As soon as the payment deadline passes, send an R3 letter requesting immediate payment.

[BubbaGumpShrimp]

I am one that could be...while we are still in steps of divorce, custody being the biggest issue, I am one entitled to it. My guess would be I could negotiate that for something else and get nothing. If we go to litigation because of custody, I will be going for spousal support.

strong case due to difference in salary and my prior sacrifice of my job...downside is
length of marriage.

Good luck. Yeah...I looked at it as more of a symbolic victory. I'll be shocked if I ever get a check out of her voluntarily.

So her take home is $2200 and she is paying a total of $2000. That doesn't leave much to eat on.
Is this b/c she is in your house that you are paying the mortgage on?

As for her cooperation, the best predictor of future behavior is past actions. I don't think you can count on her paying voluntarily. As soon as the payment deadline passes, send an R3 letter requesting immediate payment.

Yes. She can't really afford it. Again...I think that was just the judges way of telling her it was time to move on. The judge (a female) was annoyed that at how selfish NJ had been (hadn't paid a cent for anything in four months), that her attorney wanted more time...when she'd already had four months, and how ballsy she was in asking for me to continue paying for everything 100%.

Yeah...that's what I'm thinking. It would be nice if she wouldn't pay. I'd just have the lawyer see about having that amount taken out of her cut of my 401k money that she'll likely be asking for.

[finallyhappyhere]

BubbaGump,

Congrats! I'm likely headed to a pende lite hearing this week. I thought we'd be able to settle, but she is just too lazy. That's a great win. I'm in VA too and I'd love to get some insight as to how the hearing went.

If your down for a phone call let me know.

Right now, I'm being forced to pay the mortgage (jointly own the home), the car she is driving (loan and car in my name), a home equity loan and her very expensive health insurance.

After over a year, she's finally gotten another PT job, however in this hearing, she's asking for me to continue to pay for everything PLUS give her money. That's something I just can't afford in addition to my own living expenses.... I'm hoping the judge sees it my way too and that she's done nothing to help the situation except hold her hand out for mo' money!

[BubbaGumpShrimp]

Thanks. Yeah...we tried to do the same thing. That morning...I made an offer but she refused. The judge gave me even more than I'd offered to take.

I think we talked in another thread. I took notes on the process (towards the bottom of the thread below). Check that out and let me know if you still have questions. I posted this up because, as far as I could tell...there is no "reference" thread in this forum on the process for these hearings.

If your NJ is prone to lying, request that a court reporter take a transcript of the hearing (my NJ lied twice...no reporter to document it though).

http://www.dadsdivorce.com/father_divorce_forum/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=46464