Taking bigger steps than the baby ones

[RacerX35]

No. Speed Racer. lol

Well, you know that percentage/amount is based off of my income.

[Fatheroffour]

[RacerX35]

Well, here's a little twist. I'm driving home from work yesterday and I get a text from my stbx asking if I had closed the joint account from her bank. I told her that I had gone down to close after she said I could, but was told that it was already scheduled for closing. I also told her that I they offered to force close if it did not close. I said okay. She was pi$$ed!! She said I had no right to close her account, but I reminded her that it was a joint account with my name on it as well. She told me that I was being controlling and that I was going to pay 50% of the mortgage of both houses because she couldn't afford the mortgage of her house now. I told her not to worry because I would just write her a check next week when I get paid instead of her getting the direct deposit. Really, paying 50% of each house saves me money. I told her she would still have the money to pay the mortgage and she replied that she would not have living expenses money even though I told her that she was really only $1,500 less than what she had planned on before. It's a lot of money! Now she wants to consider short selling both houses. If she wants to do that, then I won't agree to that until after our mediation that sets the SS & CS (which should be about $8,200.00 a month and the mortgage would be about half of that). Then that will be that much more money in my pocket as my attorney stated. I and some other people told her that she will just have to get a job. My attorney also advised that since we have a 50/50 joint custody plan with the kids spending two overnights a week with me and then me dropping them off with stbx in the morning on my way to work, I should continue that when school starts. No sense in changing that if I'm going to then pick them up and drop them off at school on my way to work. Then it would truly be 50/50 and she would not be able to say that I was not contributing to their education. I really wouldn't have been able to with just having dinner with them on those days. So things are looking up a little bit. I guess it's like my counselor and family and friends have said. She's just getting a little reality check on this whole divorce thing. lol

Later,

Ray

[RC211V]

Cool you have 50/50 and everything. Wtf though, biggest thing I see in this thread is your support payment is twice what I make a month. Wtf.

[Rod27]

Congrats on her finally seeing reality.....now don't give an inch when she tries to manipulate you by playing nice.

[RacerX35]

Went to the first mediation. I pulled out my box of things I wanted to change from our earlier verbal agreement. We started out at 9:00 and ended up leaving around 2:30. I was able to lower her requested amount of monthly payment (dropped by $1,000) to her and plan for the kids share time. I told her that I wanted more of the 50/50 time on sleep overs, even during school time. She said that she did not know that I was going to ask for that. I told her that I did not know that she was planning for a separation or divorce when she planned it . We still have to plan for the next mediation and will also be talking to a realestate attorney tomorrow to discuss the houses. The mortgage for the house I plan on moving to after this is in my name only even though the title is in both our names. The realtors office said that that would be very important. I plan on taking the little house and if she wants to short sell the bigger house, that will be up to her. We only have 9 years to pay it off, but the annual property tax on that is about $6,000 and the mortgage on the little house pays the $3,000 property tax for me. I told her that we still have time to work this out together rather than apart, but she hasn't answered that one yet (I know, just give up the ghost). She seemed a little emotional over the thought and I think mainly because reality is hitting her that she will be working very hard to make ends meet, even with the alimony that I will be paying her for the rest of my life. I told her that she will be off my medical insurance and replaced as a 100% benificiary of my life insurance. My sister will be 100% benificiary "For the Benifit Of" for the kids. She is going to lose out on more than she, I think thought she would . We'll see what else can be pushed for at the next mediation. I know it won't go as well as I think this one went, but she'll have less of a bargaining chip. I know there is more out there, but thanks for the advice already given from you.

Ray