Any suggestions from the more experienced?

[KeepingMyKids]

Filed a Motion for Enforcement by Contempt because NJ STILL only paying $281 / month of child support, lawyer threw in failure to notify on change of address and failure to comply with no overnight guests (live in boyfriend). Hearing is on July 10, and while I'm sure it's a open/shut case, I'm still tied in knots already. Doesn't help that I had to drop the kids off for their extended summer with NJ yesterday. That's a story in itself:

For the past couple of months, we've been meeting halfway for pickups and drop offs (NJ lives three hours away) at 8 pm because she would work late and for her to get to my house would mean the kids wouldn't get into bed before midnight (she had no problem with it, but I brought it up.). Her summer time by the decree began Friday; well, this weekend being Father's Day weekend means I keep them until Sunday evening. She emails me that she "assumes" I want them for the weekend (she hasn't bothered taking the kids for Mother's Day for the past two years), so we can meet on Sunday and she'll just add on two extra days to the end of her summer visit.

I email her back saying no, Father's Day weekend is mine regardless of normal schedule and that I will pick the kids up on the date specified in the decree. And then I have to ask for her address as the kids told me that she and her boyfriend/fiance just moved into a new house and oh boy! we each have our own room, Dad! Rapid response email that says "I understand that the order allows you Father's Day weekend. I'm sure you are also aware that the order requires you to return the children to me at 6:00 PM on Sunday at my residence. I will be looking forward to seeing them here at 6:00. Enjoy Father's Day." And of course new address is twenty minutes farther than old address was to begin with, meaning we have to get on the road in the early afternoon. Beeeyotch.

(Funny thing is, she was served the next morning.)

Anyhow, I'm just overly anxious about what she's going to try and pull. I'm wanting nothing more than for her to follow the decree, and I really don't think the fact that she just within the last two months bought a new car and a $168,000 house while still paying child support based on minimum wage, AGAIN didn't notify me or the State of a change of address, and is in the house with her boyfriend/fiance with the kids is going to look kosher to a judge at all. Any suggestions on what to compile, thought processes, things to look for?

[Fatheroffour]

What is it that you are requesting from the court?

[massdaddio]

If NJ moved, why do you have to drive the kids to her? Usually the person who moved is responsible for all of the driving. If you're going to court already, you may want to get the transportation clause changed....

[KeepingMyKids]

FoF - asking nothing more than for her to follow the decree. She's a certified nurse anesthetist, average *starting* salary is $110,000/year. Right now, she still pays CS computed on minimum wage, as it was during mediation when she was living off student loans (and her attorney Mr. Wonderful). It's not like I depend on even the little bit she gives us now; when we start getting the full amount I'm planning to invest most of it in long term CD's for the kids' college. But it would definitely help with school clothes, after school activities, etc. Just asking for what she's behind on and for her to begin paying the ordered amount, which is why we're asking for direct withdrawal from her paycheck from here on out. I'm worried that this whole thing may snowball into her asking for primary; she's told people from the beginning she was going to "come take the kids" after she graduated and could outspend me. The fact that the new house she and Mr. Wonderful just bought is a three bedroom is pretty telling. But my attorney says the fact that she DID just buy a new house and new car will be helpful to us, along with the other decree violations adding up.

Massdaddio - we originally moved when we were together, so she could go to nursing graduate school. We were there a grand total of two months before she was schtupping an ex boyfriend. I moved back to our original house with the kids, and in mediation we agreed that for her weekends she would come pick up on Fridays and I would go pick up on Sundays. But for Father's Day, standard orders are that if the kids aren't with the dad already, he picks up and drops off. Same for Mother's Day...if she ever bothered to get the kids for it.

[Fatheroffour]

THat you want her to follow the decree is a given. The question was more towards since she isn't following the decree and isn't going to follow the decree what are you requesting from the court?

Garnishment.

That should be a no brainer since she is behind on support.

What else are you requesting from the court?

[defaultuser]

It appears pretty standard, what you're asking for. Keep the financial leverage on her and she won't be able to fund a custody hearing. Also, if the kids are doing good in your care, she won't have a significant change in circumstances needed in order to file.

I would be keeping the kids happy, go for wage garnishment, and drop the BS about her living with her BF. Its fine to put it into a pleading for leverage, but this isn't something useful in court IMO.

Asking for an income deduction order will probably solve 90% of your problems. How much is she ordered to pay now?

If you can slide it in, just ask the judge to say no exchanges after 8 pm or something. If your decree orders the time for exchanges, then I'd consider refusing to exchange the kids anytime but that time.

If she does happen to file a petition for modification of primary custody someday, you should be totally focused on delaying the case. You can probably keep the case from coming to a trial for 2 years or more and make her spend many thousands of dollars before you get there.

[KeepingMyKids]

They're supposedly engaged, so I agree that the living with the BF is a moot point. My attorney actually threw it in there because they've been ignoring the overnights clause for a while and she wants to show as much as possible how NJ demonstrates she doesn't have to follow the rules like everyone else. (Story of our entire marriage) As of March, she was supposed to be paying 25% of her net monthly income. So even figuring waayyyyy lowball for her monthly salary given her occupation, she's been paying only about 1/8th of the CS she's supposed to. I don't think she'll have any trouble affording any kind of court costs, given that she makes six figures and her Mr. Wonderful is a divorce attorney (although not a very good one, apparently).

My attorney put in the papers we're asking for garnishment and a finding of contempt for each instance of failure of payment in full, a clarifying order if necessary, my court costs. She also put in there what I assume is standard requests for fines/jail time and community supervision, boilerplate stuff that they never actually do. Though on first reading I did say "Holy crap!" I'm honestly tempted to just try and throw out an offer that she doesn't have to pay us a single dime, just sign a waiver of parental rights and go live her life how she's always wanted; now that's a happy happy thought.

[KeepingMyKids]

NJ hired a local attorney to represent her, my legal assistant friend told me this one is notorious for refusing to contact opposing party and having a strong "no compromise" policy (she's apparently retired Army, her bio says she was "a strategic debriefer in Berlin during the fall of Communism"). Sure enough, she filed an answer to our Motion for Enforcement yesterday, asking for a general denial by the Court and me to pay her court fees. I was hoping the attorney NJ hired (or sleazy Mr. Wonderful) would outright tell her "Just pay the back CS you owe, let the state direct withdraw from your paycheck, and we'll be done", but of course I'm betting she's going to try and play the poor harassed mother trying her best to do what's right for her kids against the horrible and vindictive ex. Blech.

[Thoughts?]

No compromise or not, $281 monthly and zero payment is an enforcement action that's a solid shot if you can produce discovery / evidence that she has over a $100k income.

Just like fines & jail time is boilerplate in enforcement and is never granted first time around, general denials are standard boilerplate too. Expect a motion to summarily dismiss. Prior to that, your attorney needs to have issued a subpoena to produce tax returns & W2's & payroll stubs for the last couple of years.

In enforcement cases, discovery is often short circuited due to perception that enforcements are more urgent. Details will go to local procedure. But booking a deposition for her accompanied by a subpoena to bring her records, or perhaps her manager at work might be a good move.