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Hey guys I am hoping I can get some advice here. I'll give you the story of what is happening to me and hopefully I can get some advice. I have only been married for 6 months on June 30th, I am 26 my wife is 25. I ignored the warning signs and am an idiot, but what is done is done I married her. My wife told me tonight that she wants a divorce and as much as I've fought it before and have tried to make things work at this point I'm done and just want to be happy again. We moved in together and rented a home, just over a year ago. The lease is in my name. We got married Dec 30 of 2011 and it has all just been downhill. Right after we married she began school to be a physicians assistant. Before we married she signed a loan without me for around 20,000 to pay for her school. She recently signed one for around $8,000 for the next semester again without my signature. I have provided for us with an army retirement, because I was hit with an IED and got a brain injury, and my GI bill living stipend has been our only source of income. I am guessing after only 6 months I do not have to worry about alimony, am I correct? Do I need to worry about her debt? She signed her loans by herself and the first one was signed before we were married, do I have to pay half of them? I had around $10,000 in the bank when we married I have around $8,000 right now can I keep that or will she get some? I am trying to get through school very hard right now with some difficulty due to my brain injury, but I don't want her walking away with what I earned while fighting a war. I also would prefer to just file the paperwork and be done with it not have to hire an attorney. My plan right now is to be as civil as possible with her and try to get her to agree to fair terms and only taking what is hers. Does anyone have experience after a short marriage? What should I expect? What should I keep what should I let go? Where do I go from this point?
We have no kids. We sat down today and tried to talk civilly and that went no where. She stated that she wanted what was hers and I take what is mine, but then when I told her I bought the living room furniture and TV before we were married with my money she said no I want that.
Basically I would like to walk away with what is mine, but if I had to leave today with nothing, but the shirt on my back but not have to pay her anything else I would be happy. She owes about 12,000 on a vehicle which I have been paying every month. She purchased it before we even knew each other and her mother cosigned the loan for it. She has probably $28,000 in debt for her physicians assistant school, $20,000 prior to marriage $8,000 after I have not signed either.
I basically just want what is mine and don't want this to turn into a mess or be stuck with her debt or owing her alimony payments.
"What to do to begin Divorce" - just tell her I Divorce You three times Oh, wait. that would probably work back where you were when you hit the IED. Thanks for your service!
Fatheroffour wrote:Id wait fopr her to not be in the house; call some buds and move all your stuff out.
That is exactly what I did and that was after 16 years of marriage and 3 kids. No way was I going to do it with her home and each item I picked up she would turn into a battle. Probably escalating until police were called and I would be out of my own house anyway. Her and kids came home to a house with all MY stuff gone and I was fair about it.
Look at it this way when there are no kids involved. What did you spend on your last vacation to have peace of mind and recharge your batteries before going back to work. Did the furniture and TV cost as much as the vacation? Think of it as the cost to have a permanent vacation and recharge your batteries for the rest of your life away from her.
The loans, there hers. I would fight that but I would not let a couch and TV keep me from peace of mind.
...and by no means have sex with her in any way! Don't let one of your little swimmers near her. Flush a wet tissue That will ruin your life for sure.
A little update here. I ponied up and spent the money for a consultation with an attorney. According to him I am not on the hook for any of her school loans or vehicle loan which is great. Savings account could go either way, I'm fine with splitting it with her if she'll be agreeable and not turn this into a pain in the a##. He said I could owe her spousal support for 3 months from filing for the divorce (40% of all of my income), I'm going to do what I can to not have her get that. At this point if she doesn't lawyer up I'm not going to either its just not worth the money if she's not going to fight me on everything.
To everyone who said just get my stuff when she's gone. It's crossed my mind, but I love the house I'm in, plus my name is on the lease and I've paid the security deposit. The attorney told me she has every legal right to be there until the divorce is final, but if she wants to fight me she will not get the house in the end. What is the best way for me to civilly encourage her to get the hell out?