Good Advice on here but none seems to fit me

[mbintightspot]

I'll try and be as brief as possible and hopefully get some good comments/feedback...


In the 6th year of marriage, marriage was my 2nd and her 4th (I should have known)...

We both have children from previous marriages, but none together

Marriage has deteriorated the past 2 years into unbearable situation, 1 year ago during a 4 month separation I had some in-appropriate email relationships which has really made the last year unbearable even though we were separated at the time, we reconciled and I have been 100% committed to the marriage since then - she did have a physical affair the first year of our marriage (although somehow my written affairs/emails were worse)

STBX is way overspending on our budget, has "soft" drug issues, big alcohol issues, very unstable emotionally, we're going further and further into debt every week. There have been numerous arguments and 3 major situations where she has broken Patio doors, windows - one night she broke every bar glass in the house.

Every time this happens I try to get out of the house because I even feel she would injure herself to call the police and have me locked up, then when I try to leave she is begging and screaming for me to stay and I always do

Last night was another episode but this time I did leave with no intention of going back.

She is a stay at home mom, she did work in the beginning of our marriage but my income went up our first year together and we decided she should run the house..I believe that she'll be after my employment come Monday morning and any financial assets we have (although approx 50% of those are unreachable to her by design in case this happened)

Thanks the patience, now for my questions
1) Doesn't seem like I'm going to be able to get an EPO over the weekend as we live in a smaller, rural county. I think I could make a good case for a EPO but won't have the ability to get it until Monday when she'll be at my office building causing a scene or directly calling my manager and his director

2) I can't stay in the house (it's a rental under both our names) with her there, and I can't afford to write the bill for what is essentially two households. How do I care for myself and my kids while trying to maintain the household expenses?

3) I have messages out to several attorney's but being Saturday, it'll be Monday before a return call and at least Tues/Weds before any sort of paperwork is filed

I guess that's enough for now - anyone have any comments?

Thanks

[BartSimpson]

Have you read "the list"?

Cut her off financially - close accounts today.

Yours' is not that uncommon - we've had two similar cases in the last month; married briefly, no kids, lalala. Bottom line is to cut off the finances and get her out.

Emails are not an affair. Unless there was an exchange of bodily fluids, it isn't an affair.

[aero_8]

If she's drunk/intoxicated/high/whatever and smashing stuff, call the cops, and get an order of protection. From what you describe, you'd have a solid basis for this. And yes, cut her off financially. Don't give her a cent.

[defaultuser]

I would see about contacting the father(s) of her children to see if they are interested in obtaining custody. If so, stay in the house until she breaks something, then call the cops and have her arrested for domestic violence. A PO will be almost automatic after that.

[lohe]

If you contact her ex's I would be careful what information you give to them.

You never know if it's going to get back to her.

[mbintightspot]

Thanks Guys....

I'm getting the feeling having the police come during one of her rages would give better odds for a EPO than showing up Mon am at the police station and getting a EPO that way?? I do have concern than she can be pretty convincing and will say or do anything to turn the tables

Really concerned that she would show up at my work, cause a big scene, and get me in very hot water with work. That (and preserving household items) are the reason for the EPO

Not sure on her Ex's - they are definitely absentee guys

[defaultuser]

If you're in a one party state, record her on audio/video being violent. That should seal the deal.