Child Shrink

[chi6488]

So last week NJ fired her attorney and hired a new one. In the past several months she had discussed taking kids to a shrink.

I refused to agree due to 2 reasons, first one being out of network shrink and two I think they try to find something wrong to keep you coming back to make money.

Well, this morning she gives me a survey to fill out about our kids and say she is going to take them. She is now working so she has money.

I don't want to raise a stink b/c the judge's wife is a psychiatrist.

What are my rights? Go with the flow? The survey is more about the kids then parents.

I am in FL so I do not know how law applies.

Pros and cons?

[Fatheroffour]

I think they try to find something wrong to keep you coming back to make money.

Like doctors, mechanics, plumbers and attorneys?

Not really a good reason to be concerned.

If there isn't anything wrong with your kids then what you should be concerned about is she is enlisting their help to use against you in court.

What is your custody status? Are you divorced? Do you have joint legal custody? Is there a parent designated with decision making authority over medical issues?

[chi6488]

I emailed my attorney after this posting.

She responded within a minute.

She advised to tell NJ I do not agree to it and NJ would be violating the tenets of shared parental responsibility.

So I emailed her my response of NO

[Fatheroffour]

Seems like her attorney could tell her the same thing.

[novadad]

Similar situation in reverse ... I was the one seeking a therapist for the kid. First for S10 after he said "daddy, I don't have any friends in school and no one talks to me" then for D12 after she asked for someone to talk to. Ex objected. Called my attorney. She said "your agreement says you have to consult. It doesn't say you have to agree. Take them. No judge in the county will rule against you."

If I were you, I'd make an appointment to visit the shrink and meet with him/her yourself. Make sure they're not a crack pot, get your POV known, etc. If the shrink is credible, and there are no issues with your kid, they'll tell you that. Don't leave this all in NJ's hands.

For the record, my ex has stated her objections regularly but has never bothered to go meet the shrink. It is definitely helping my ADHD, socially awkward son learn some socialization skills. Daughter has only been once but said it was helpful and asked to go again.

Keep it centered on the kids.

novadad

[Trevor]

Judges aren't going to compel you to use an out of network psych unless the court orders and assigns a custody evaluation.

[stretchkr]

I think they try to find something wrong to keep you coming back to make money.

Having seen a good one myself I can tell you that this is not always true, and if your child needs help this is a horrible excuse not to give it to them.

[Fatheroffour]

Its also a response that will make a fool out of you in court or out.

[kmich91262]

To echo what others have responded with, I have a couple of comments too.

First of all make sure the mental health professional is not a quack. The Dr. gave me bad vibes from the get go, S8 had one that wanted to put him on medicine without testing, and when questioned about it gave me the run around. When I jumped thru the hoops she put up, she still was giving me lip service and wanted more and more. Fired her a-s and advised NJ S8 is not to see this quack.

Second of all. IMO a good mental health professional will want to meet with all sides first before making a decision. Yes, they may have an idea what is going on after meeting the child however that doesn't mean there isn't something substantial happening at one house that may influence the professionals decision. Kind of like GIGO. If the professional doesn't know that something specific is happening, their decision maybe skewed.

Third and most important, always go to appointments. IMO I think there is nothing worse than getting info third hand (i.e. NJ) or after the appointment from the professional (especially days after). Yes, the professional has their notes but that doesn't substitute getting it while fresh in their mind IMO. I can tell you from my job experience, although we have notes for each account, nothing is worse than recalling from either your notes or somebody else's notes. Even with good notes, something important may have been missed when writing it down.

[chi6488]

Its also a response that will make a fool out of you in court or out.

That is how I personally feel but smart enough not to say it to the court.

That being said, I have not noticed any changes in behavior with my kids after divorce filing compared to before divorce filing. They are being the typical brother/sister relationship of picking on each other.