Anyone have good info on personality disorders??

[Jeremy]

A therapist I have been seeing mentioned my Ex may have a personality disorder. I am starting to agree. Anyone have any good info. Below is the site the therapist referred me to.

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/narcis ... er/DS00652

[motwgk]

There are some good articles here:

http://www.bpdcentral.com/
http://www.bpddemystified.com/
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/sto ... arcissists

Take a look at both the Borderline Disorder articles and the Narcissistic Disorder articles, maybe even the antisocial as well. Lots of resources and articles online. Also, the book 'Stop Walking on Eggshells' may be helpful.

My recommendations: start reading everything you can find on it. Don't confront the other person with what you "know" about them. And look into "low contact" if you're getting a lot of verbal abuse but share kids. Lots of other advice, but would need to know more about your situation.

[BartSimpson]

Putting a name to her behavior isn't going to change her behavior.

And it doesn't change your strategy. You don't go into Court with evidence of a personality disorder, you go into Court with evidence of her bad behavior - no matter what it's called.

That said, Borderline Personality Disorder is worth researching as it is going to bring a few loose ends into focus.

[Jeremy]

I am aware I cannot change her behavior. Although I do not want certain behaviors to continue, I am trying to understand and better learn HOW to deal with these behaviors, not change them. It is not my responsibility to change my ex spouses behavior, but it is my responsibility to take care of myself and learn how to better deal with constant harassment and narcissistic behaviors. I thank you guys for your info.

[BartSimpson]

I'm with you - but I'm trying to get you past any delay from your interest in understanding your STBX's behavior to taking action. What you do is the same no matter what her flavor of crazy is - you put your boot to her throat and keep it there. What Narcissists, BPD, and plain old Nutjobs understand is enforcement, not reason.

We're all about the what to do about it here. You want something you can start doing today? Need help with that parenting time refusal with your kids the other day? Has anyone shared the evidence steps you need to take at each and every exchange? Like buying a pack of gum or soda at or near the exchange location at or near the time of the exchange? The resulting receipt is huge in defeating her BS argument that you weren't there at the appointed time - the standard defense for her first round of contempt hearings.

Please do learn, I'm not stopping that. And good on you for seeking therapy - how's it going? But there is no need and you cannot afford to delay necessary actions while you try to understand the crazy woman you married. Nothing you will learn will change your strategy in a high-conflict individual.

I'm 20+ years divorced, a health professional with lots of letters after my name, and I still don't understand the crazy that modern woman have - but they've got it and it won't be understood in my lifetime so I learned to deal with it. Iron-fist enforcement.

[Jeremy]

Well, the therapy is going well. I had a divorce, disability, and a loss of my job of 15 years all within 6 months. So the therapy has helped me leaps and bounds. I never believed or embraced the practice of therapy. I must say.... for any doubters or people that think you can handle these types of swings on your own... ASK FOR HELP! It really saved me from over analyzing every move I made.

As for a situations go... yes.. no one has really shared with me on how to take steps with evidence and whatnot. I have all emails, texts, etc.. , that all show that the Ex had absolutely 100% zero intention of bringing the children, as well as not going to make them available for Father's Day weekend this weekend. My ongoing dilemma is that I cannot afford an attorney for court, and these items continue to be non important to the court. On the last court date a few weeks ago, they instructed my Ex to not harass me via email about changes and "her way" type of communication. I asked for this behavior to be listed in the "don't do this anymore" section of the order, but I got the freedom of speech answer from the mediator. (Which I completely understand..) I read a long statement of emails that included derogatory remarks about me and my parenting, and it was as simple as "well let's hope she stops doing this".... I am almost tempted to post these communications (excluding names and important financial info of course) ... because it is difficult to describe these behaviors and have a complete understanding of what I am dealing with.

Just rambling.... but it is nice to get some of this off my brain...