I dont know what to do?

[dadintrouble]

there is just so much i need to do both legally and to cover myself and protect my son i am very overwhelmed.. i guess its the shock

[stretchkr]

Most of us have been here.... Just listen to the advice given.

[Chosen2Dad]

You're in a most friendly custody state....That is the what I have heard from people living there.

While emotionally, you're < edited >...for now...it's only temporary. I slip into those days sometimes. But for the most part, they are past. It's just dealing with the BS since I live with the stbx/nj and the MIL.

The guys on here will tell you to sack up. And I'm close to walking upstairs right now and grabbing my S2 and going out. Telling them I'll be back.

[petepeterson]

DIT,

You're not alone in this. I would venture to say that 95% of the fellas here have been in your emotional shoes at one time or another. The men that don't feel like you usually don't come here, or leave quickly if they do. Ya know, the "how do i pay the least possible amount of CS so I can afford an apartment for my girlfriend" crowd.

I felt completely hopeless and lost, with no end in sight. I wish I'd have found this site at the same stage that you're in now. Putting the emotional support aside, these guys are a bottomless pit of legal knowledge-because they've all been there and know how it works. And lucky for you...because they themselves have seen how men can get screwed over, and even without knowing you, they want to see you have the best possible outcome for you and your children in this situation. And that's not to mention how helpful they can be on just managing the day-to-day annoyances and emotional struggles. Quite a group, huh? And it doesn't cost you a penny.

Right now, you need to find that light switch that is making you all wishy-washy, and flick it off. You can have it in your private time, or posting on this board, but it's game-face time. The psychological impact your demeanor has upon your STBX wife cannot be over-stated. I know it's difficult, but for the sake of your family (yes, you still are one, with ho, or without), you've got to develop a winning mindset. "Woe is me" will not get it done.

The hope is, a short time in the future, you will have changed your screenname to "bigballsbilly" or "shrimpboat captain" or something Jules would have on his wallet...you get my drift. And you will be helping bewildered and frightened dads develop that same mindset...ya know...the one that helped you achieve all the goals you set for yourself and your kids.

Good luck, and hang in there!