Cheating during seperartion

Advice on divorce for men considering or starting the divorce process. Get marriage separation advice for men in this divorce forum and child custody forum.

Re: Cheating during seperartion

Postby CCR » Thu May 17, 2012 11:25 am

What state is the OP in? I could make a huge difference in support if it's 50/50 and him as the primary parent, which could be negotiable with Mr. Wonderful in the picture. This is the angle I'd be looking at. It could also affect alimony, but really only a local attorney could tell how the local judges are.
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Re: Cheating during seperartion

Postby SIP2012 » Thu May 17, 2012 9:57 pm

Ok thanks for all the responses. I guess my biggest question is if I can use this to pay less/no alimony. Don't see why I need to support her if dudes already living with her and he can support her. I'm ok with 50% custody which is what has happened in 4 month since seperartion. Getting school control is great idea. I would like to move about 6 miles a way and sure woukd like them to go to school there.

We have nothing formalized, she doesn't like working or staying home with kids so she had shotty job history and had pt job when we separated so I paid most expenses as we were only on trial seperartion. Now that this has happened and she has ft job I don't feel I owe her anything (I make significantly more than her but in middle class range) and I want legal credit for anything I pay to her or on her behalf. So if i continue without formal agreement feel like i might screw myself over down the road. There is no martial home, we were on mtm lease which was termed when we separated. I am planning to hire a lawyer next week just wanted to get thoughts on situation.

Great website thanks.
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Re: Cheating during seperartion

Postby SIP2012 » Thu May 17, 2012 11:59 pm

atoice wrote:Regardless of what she is doing in her spare time, it won't matter in court of law in some states. Infidelity is not grounds or factors for child custody in general. While, introducing the kids to the new lover may be. Cause if it doesn't last, it creates change for the kids.

In Jersey, I could do whatever I want as long as I didn't introduce my S2 to the new person.

Glad you got 50/50...as for child support: it's not for her, it's for the girls, so I don't think that will change anything regardless what either of you do in your personal time.


I could care less what she does when she doesn't have the kids... This blew up cause my daughter told me he spent the night three nights in a row while they were there and then the next time they spent the weekend at the beach together after x lied and said it was one time thing and wouldn't have him spend night anymore. Ill defiantly talk with an attorney soon, hopefully I can use this against her to get what I want.
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