Paranoid and It's Driving Me Crazy (Should I Be)-PLEASE READ

Parental Alienation Syndrome, Malicious Mother Syndrome, dealing with the ex, and various other non-legal concerns throughout the process.

Re: Paranoid and It's Driving Me Crazy (Should I Be)-PLEASE

Postby hoosier_dad » Tue May 15, 2012 7:12 am

foothills wrote:The history between me and his mother (my ex-wife) is absolutely repulsive (SURPRISE). Not because of me, but because of her. She hired a bulldog attorney who managed to have me stripped of my "joint legal custody" (my ex has sole legal custody)....the judge we were in front of clearly had it out for me and just simply did not like me (for whatever reason). I could do NOTHING right!!!


OP, whether you like it or not Bart has pulled the cover off of the elephant in the room that you are avoiding. The incident at school is a non-issue and can be easily deflected by acknowledging you were a little too aggressive in your parenting during school hours. Unless your son came out of that room crying his head off in distress then it is a non-issue.

The bigger issue is the circumstances that led up to you losing joint legal custody, which is seen in many states as a pretty big hurdle for your ex to be awarded in court. If the short temper and combative responses to Bart are an indication I'm betting your ex's case was built around accusations of high conflict and anger from you, lack of co-parenting and her being fearful at exchanges. Can you lay out their strategy and points of testimony/evidence that led to that ruling, were you represented by an attorney?

Before you fire back at me know that I am merely pointing out how your ex and counsel will attack you in court. Whether the judgement was justified or merely the product of a biased judge I have no idea, but I guarantee that it will be a prominent part of her case. Attempting to defend against that by saying that the judge was out to get you is a losing strategy.
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Re: Paranoid and It's Driving Me Crazy (Should I Be)-PLEASE

Postby foothills » Tue May 15, 2012 7:34 am

Father of Four - You are absolutely right...my posting was way-way too long....probably just the result of venting (typing too fast, trying to say too much and putting the the "matter at hands" in the weeds) - sorry.

SuperDad - I appreciate your attempt, but, I'll try to gracefully bow out, as it would take another long recitation of just how they accomplished what they accomplished...but I will say this:

There's another thread that's speaking about an evaluation (of sorts)....and how parents that can't appear to communicate will ultimately "force the hand" of the family court to give "sole" and "primary" to one parent or the other - this is precisely what happened in my case.....my ex understood the rules of engagement: "Keep the fires of contention burning bright" and you'll get and keep your standing.

I was initially given "JLC" - it was taken away because she proclaimed I was difficult, I was a problem, etc...

My son didn't come screaming and crying out of the room BTW - so thanks for that point of relief.

I was simply a Dad, who refused to be minimized, so I filed a modification for all of her alienating tactics - her attorney came in and painted quite another picture and the Judge bought in.

Anyway....thanks again "SuperDad, Capslock, FatherofFour, et al...."

I think I have my answer(s) now.

Much appreciation!

Good Luck to all.....!
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Re: Paranoid and It's Driving Me Crazy (Should I Be)-PLEASE

Postby hoosier_dad » Tue May 15, 2012 8:01 am

foothills wrote:There's another thread that's speaking about an evaluation (of sorts)....and how parents that can't appear to communicate will ultimately "force the hand" of the family court to give "sole" and "primary" to one parent or the other - this is precisely what happened in my case.....my ex understood the rules of engagement: "Keep the fires of contention burning bright" and you'll get and keep your standing.


This is a common theme we see here, and it is probably the primary defense against a 50/50 parenting plan. She has court precedent showing that conflict led to your loss of JLC, so this is where you and your attorney's efforts need to be focused more than the school incident. Sounds like you understand that well.

If I was your attorney I'd have one question for you. Will your ex be able to produce e-mails, texts, voice recordings etc that show negative communication, name-calling or other confrontational communications from you since the last court ruling? Even if your ex initiated those negative communications, if you reciprocate she will achieve her strategy of ongoing conflict.
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Re: Paranoid and It's Driving Me Crazy (Should I Be)-PLEASE

Postby jerico08 » Tue May 15, 2012 8:57 am

What's with all the quotation marks? Are you one of those people who when you talk put your two fingers up to make a quotation signs? Btw, thats annoying.

You asked if you sound paranoid and my answer is yes. I think you need to stop making excuses and using different words for your son's bad behavior and actions and deal with that is the root cause first.

Since you said you're ready got all the answers you need I'll just wish you good luck.
"Poor planning on your part doesn't constitute an emergency on my part".
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