Alimony advise

[Claudius]

There are NJ child support calculators online, but I think they are less meaningful given your income. That is, up to a certain level of income, you can pretty much plug in the numbers and get an idea what you'll pay, but beyond that, there are factors that give the judge more leeway.

Alimony is less cut-and-dried. For an 18-year marriage, alimony could be rough, but if she is capable of working, I believe she will be expected to contribute somewhat to her own support. Your best bet is to speak with an experienced lawyer in your area who has a good grasp of recent case law.

[bob523]

I am getting ready to file. I also live in New Jersey and have been married 24 1/2 years. I am also a high earner over 200K and wife works part time, a few hours per week at close to minimum wage. I have aways encouraged her to go back to school or to learn a skill that wpould give her access to better jobs. She was never interested and has left jobs that required her to work more than a few hours per week. From what I understand, I am screwed when it comes to alimony - she is entititled to lifetime alimony. I heard that she will get 30% of the difference between my salary and her imputed FT salary.

[Claudius]

Sounds just like my NJ. That's why I'll be getting out after 5-6 years. (Not that I'm close to in your league earnings-wise.)

[modad]

Getting out after 5-6 years?? What do you mean by that-out of country?
Since you are ready to file, please prepare yourself financially, emotionally -for the worst.
It has been a nightmare going through this process- it has been almost 2 years for me & still it is ongoing....Depends on the partner too- how nasty it could be...Everyone tries to mint money here & nobody understands the torture we go through....But just try to be strong emotionally as well or this can break one down completely.....

[modad]

Sorry ....I thought both comments were by bob...
@claudius-You are absolutely right....Plan it if you know it is going to happen...Move to texas - if you have better opportunities there- it is the most friendly state for men.

[Claudius]

Sorry ....I thought both comments were by bob...
@claudius-You are absolutely right....Plan it if you know it is going to happen...Move to texas - if you have better opportunities there- it is the most friendly state for men.

Thanks...no chance to move to Texas or much of anywhere, so I'll have to take my chances in New Jersey. I've been getting ready for well over a year, so I feel decently well-prepared, although as you say, it's the emotional wringer that's tough. Particularly watching what this will do to the kids, because there's no way NJ will agree to face reality and make a fair deal like adults, to avoid dragging them through the mud.