first time divorce with child

[hanjin1]

Hello everyone, i'm new to the forums and just wanted to see what everyone else thought of my situation. hopefully someone can help answer my question.

Anyways, i was married for 7 years and then my wife decided to leave me after we had a child. fast forward a year and we are trying to do this divorce, so i got a lawyer to fill out some paperwork for us because i didn't want to have to do this on my own. the terms were that we would shar custody of our child and watch her half the time each. basically one week she lived with her mom and the next week she lived with me. we live fairly close and don't expect to move out of state anytime soon. we also split the cost of daycare and insurance. i buy her stuff when shes with me and her mom buys her stuff when shes with her. the problem came when i gave her the paperwork for the child support and it said i would only need to pay around $40 a month. we both make fairly equal salary, i make a few thousand more than her but she owns a house outright while i rent an apartment. she seems to think that i am trying to "screw" her over by only paying a small amount. i tried to explain it was because that we are splitting time with her in half and that we are splitting the cost to raise her in half. is my thinking wrong or am i in the right? she said she would get a lawyer now and i don't want to have a legal fight about it. hope someone can answer my question. thanks

peter

also, we live in florida and make around $40k each. she bought her house after she left left me with the house we bought together, but now i can't pay so i had to leave for foreclosure and get an apartment

[Anything4Her]

Why does she think she should get a lot of child support if you make nearly the same?
<edit> Strike that, she is female.

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She is going to hear from the lawyer that if she wants a payday, she will have to get primary custody.

Your divorce just got expensive and contentious.

[hanjin1]

thanks, thats what i thought too. i thought if we were roughly the same and decided to share time equally then child support was minimal. for some reason she doesn't see it that way. i believe it has to do with some of her chicken friends

[Anything4Her]

i believe it has to do with some of her chicken friends

You nailed it. She has to appear to have 'won' among her group of clucking hens.

[Trevor]

You nailed it. She has to appear to have 'won' among her group of clucking hens.

Nope. He only nailed half of it.

The other half is that she's too stupid to know that "winning" means keeping your kids insulated from a protracted court battle, and by keeping your own money instead of handing it all to lawyers. Clucking morons.

[hanjin1]

just had a nice text shouting match with her trying to explain why it is low. she demanded that i pay $400/month child support, plus half the daycare, half the insurance and half any activities. i told her that i would pay half of everything as i believe my child deserves that and so does she, but i was not going to pay $400 child support, especially when i'm watching my child half the time. i said that if i were making much more than her then i would oblige and pay child support, but not if i can barely make means on basically the same salary as her. added i have to pay rent and a car payment while she got her parents to pay her house and kept the car that we both owned that is paid off. i think i've done her a service in being nice enough and demanding more.

[RC211V]

Good advice is not to discuss such things with the ex. If you have to say something in response to her demand for money from you, 'No' is the best answer. Nothing at all is even better, just let her sit there being a freak.

[TransAm]

This is a perfect example of why you should nail down the custody aspects first, signed sealed and delivered.

Then with 50% or better, no money should change hands when she takes you to domestics.

[defaultuser]

This is a perfect example of why you should nail down the custody aspects first, signed sealed and delivered.

I agree 100%. I'd tell her something like this:

"Look sweetie cakes, I understand where you're coming from and I want to do this thing right and make sure that I'm paying you the right amount in child support. The guy I talked to (your lawyer) said that we should get a settlement agreement in place about the time-sharing and then deal with the child support as a separate issue. Is that ok with you?"

Do whatever possible to get her to sign of on the 50/50, especially if your kid is young, because the younger your child, the less time the court generally will give a father. Look up the tender years doctrine.

In a last resort, I would agree to the $400 a month child support, then as soon as possible, probably within a year, someones income will change or child care costs will change or whatever. Any change that means a $50 change in the CS per month, or 15%, is enough to get the court to revisit CS. Then, the CS will go to what you expect it to be.

If you fight this out with an attorney, you're going to pay everything you have to spare and might not come out with 50/50. If you give her what she wants then file for a modification of child support, you'll spend less money.

Good luck.

[Chosen2Dad]

Being in FL, you will have an advantage from what I hear as far as child custody and such. As for her demands, that's what they are...demands.

You make about the same money. While you may have to pay your share of daycare and insurance if the kiddo is on her plan and she pays daycare, but I think financially on child support, you are a-ok.

Get your kiddo, and screw the stbx.