they just emptied my bank account

Get financial advice on divorce and asset division including child support laws, legal separation advice and divorce settlements.

Re: they just emptied my bank account

Postby BartSimpson » Fri May 04, 2012 10:31 pm

Would it have been cheaper to keep the husband and hire a maid?
"I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet.”
― my neighbor Jack
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Re: they just emptied my bank account

Postby stb_divorced » Sat May 05, 2012 6:12 am

wow this whole post just made my day...

i settled yesterday with my ex and she gets roughly 50% of my salary for 4 yrs in combined child support, spousal support and distributive share.... but we skip trial and it's over in August! hearing some of the horror stories on here make it seem like i got off easy.
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Re: they just emptied my bank account

Postby Groundhogday » Sat May 05, 2012 10:16 pm

Walklikeaman needs a new lawyer. Most states won't give substantial maintenance for a marriage less than 10 years. And I would have though with the maintenance included in income, the child support wouldn't have been so large.

Thing is... family court is incredibly arbitrary. That is by far the most frustrating part of the whole experience. Usually men get the shaft in family court, but I guess it does go the other way once in a while. If this could only happen often enough to get some sane laws on the books.
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Re: they just emptied my bank account

Postby nbdad » Mon May 07, 2012 11:30 am

When my youngest turns 18 or graduates post secondary, whichever happens last, I'm going to have a big bonfire and burn all my documents/print outs/etc. By then I should have enough that I'll need to hire out the local fire department to be on hand, it's libel to be a HUGE fire hazard.
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Re: they just emptied my bank account

Postby konstantin1 » Tue Jan 01, 2013 5:18 am

Wondering if there was any update to this? In a similar situation. Great dad if I must say so myself, ex getting favoritism in the courts, very dishonest about her earnings/jobs while I on the other hand was honest and I don't have $ for a PI to prove/disprove these things, way too many hours following her around, subpoenas to request the info etc. One has to be more creative with the movement of assets. There are attorneys who specialize in such things as asset protection etc., but if it's too late and this is not an affordable option couldn't one find a friend who they can really trust and basically move funds? Invest in gold/silver as for 1/2 year and keep it in a safety deposit box, downsize to an apartment to save $. Get fired and rehired as a contractor, and ask employer to pay your corporation (which your friend owns)? Also there are some (typically the smaller) banks that will open an account for you, even if you don't have (or don't want to provide) your (or your friends) SSN.
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Re: they just emptied my bank account

Postby walklikeaman » Tue Jan 01, 2013 10:59 am

Update is I am drowning. Didn't pay mortgage last month. Won't pay this month. Maxed credit cards. Appealing but will be kicked out of house before it's over. Had to take kids out of private school. Spent 4 months suicidal, better now but still depressed per psychiatrist. Cut back on job because couldn't afford child care which just continues my downward financial spiral. (Ex told me I needed to cut back on Childcare when I told him I could no longer pay mortgage so I did.) I am now taking that job, I might as well spend time with my kids if I'm going to lose everything anyway. I've personally never met anyone in my predicament, I know some people are strapped but I'm not even close to making ends meet. I made 75% of combined income last month and took home 25%. I'm < edited > and can't see a way out other than leaving my kids life insurance which means they'd only have one not so good parent so not a real option either. Praying 2013 turns things around. Good luck to all of you stand up fathers out there.
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Re: they just emptied my bank account

Postby tokio » Tue Jan 01, 2013 5:32 pm

I really feel for you. That's a terrible story and situation to be in. Keep your kids on your mind as they will lift you up in spirit.
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Re: they just emptied my bank account

Postby spacecowboydad » Wed Jan 02, 2013 12:52 am

I feel bad for you because I know exactly how this feels. Nothing like going to check your bank account and thinking you got hacked and are a victim of identity theft only to call the bank and find out that they took a bunch of money out for child support. Just bad news all around. Yeah, I had fun explaining that to my landlord that month. At the same time, this happens ALL THE TIME to fathers and there's really nothing they can do about it.
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Re: they just emptied my bank account

Postby jacob_coulter » Wed Jan 02, 2013 1:51 pm

I think what makes me sick is that if these laws are ever changed, it won't because society at large recognizes how unfair it is to men, it will be purely because a handful of women now have to go through it. Then, it will suddenly be a crisis.
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Re: they just emptied my bank account

Postby walklikeaman » Wed Jan 02, 2013 3:20 pm

You may be right. But most lawyers I see are men and so are the judges (though my judge was a divorced mother-go figure) How do you explain that? Why aren't the men helping the men? They're part of the problem though believe me I get that if people (usually women) would take care of themselves instead of relying on another adult we'd be better off and this website might not exist. I've always thought I'd support myself. Tons of men keep telling me to find some rich dude to marry, crazy. I have a degree and it's not in June cleaver school of domestication.I have been seriously contemplating law school because I feel so unjustified by this system but I'm not sure that's going to have much impact. I do not want my kids to follow in dads footsteps and not be responsible for themselves. If someone knows a way I could make a difference I would. Will try to raise girls to be good people and be self sufficient, boys the same.
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