I lose Memorial Day Weekend, and Christmas?

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I lose Memorial Day Weekend, and Christmas?

Postby spencerian » Sun May 06, 2012 1:37 pm

The kids saw a GAL last year.

This year XMIL took me to court asking for more < parenting time >.
The GAL was appointed. But he never saw the kids. He never asked them what they wanted. Isn't his role to be the voice of the children?

Anyway, he recommended that whatever the XMIL asked for was fine.

They now get the 4th weekend every month.
9 days of vacation time with the kids.
One day (the 26th, or the 23rd) to spend Christmas with the kids.

My issue is I LOSE every Memorial Day weekend.
I will lose Christmas in 2015, 2016, and Christmas eve in 2017.
I lose every Thanksgiving day weekend. We have traveled to my sister's every Thanksgiving for the past 3 years, and spent the weekend with our entire family.

I went into this Pro Se. I consulted a lawyer after getting the ruling, and he said there is very little I can do, or that he can do for me.

NJ hasn't seen the kids in 20 months. But she still has the option.
What happens when she pops up and wants that < parenting time > again?
Will she give up HER weekends to XMIL? Seriously?

That also means I would get one weekend a month.
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Re: I lose Memorial Day Weekend, and Christmas?

Postby dadmisseskids » Sun May 06, 2012 1:58 pm

spencerian wrote:Anyway, he recommended that whatever the XMIL asked for was fine.

They now get the 4th weekend every month.
9 days of vacation time with the kids.
I would think is okay.
spencerian wrote:One day (the 26th, or the 23rd) to spend Christmas with the kids.
This seems okay too.
spencerian wrote:I will lose Christmas in 2015, 2016, and Christmas eve in 2017.
So the judge said that every year they can have the 23rd or the 26th but also get the 25th in 2015, 2016 and 2017? Do you lose the entire day or just a few hours?
spencerian wrote:My issue is I LOSE every Memorial Day weekend.
My parenting plan alternates years. I don't see how the judge gave the grandparent every memorial day every year.
spencerian wrote:NJ hasn't seen the kids in 20 months. But she still has the option.
What happens when she pops up and wants that < parenting time > again?
Will she give up HER weekends to XMIL? Seriously?

That also means I would get one weekend a month.
I wouldn't worry about only getting one weekend a month. However, what exactly does the order say? Perhaps if your ex pops back up her time now takes place of the XMIL? There's no reason for the XMIL to have her own time, your ex have her own time, you have your own time, your parents have their own time......get the point?
spencerian wrote:I consulted a lawyer after getting the ruling, and he said there is very little I can do, or that he can do for me.
If the lawyer was truthful, he's probably seen stuff like this and was just giving his honest opinion. If he was honest, at least he didn't take your money to file an appeal knowing you probably wouldn't win.

What state is this? I would research grandparent rights in your state and see exactly what the deal is. What you are writing doesn't make sense, unless the grandparents time is put in place of your ex's time. Never dealt with this though.
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Re: I lose Memorial Day Weekend, and Christmas?

Postby Fatheroffour » Sun May 06, 2012 7:53 pm

Spence, having been keeping up with your case for a while now, I think that if I were you I would be giving serious consideration to investigating into what it would take to spend a few years in Japan.
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Re: I lose Memorial Day Weekend, and Christmas?

Postby jumbledone » Mon May 07, 2012 8:24 am

If there is a < parenting time > (how else to describe grandparents) given, there should be a schedule, including holidays (since you have noted that Grandmama gets Christmas).

Generally the holidays overrule normal < parenting time >. So, is Memorial Day spelled out? If not, why? If it is, and if falls on their weekend, and it is your year, too bad, so sad for Grandmama.

I am sure you covered this elsewhere, but why is it a bad idea for XMIL to have kids? They should have some contact with that side of the family.
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Re: I lose Memorial Day Weekend, and Christmas?

Postby spencerian » Mon May 07, 2012 3:18 pm

jumbledone wrote:If there is a < parenting time > (how else to describe grandparents) given, there should be a schedule, including holidays (since you have noted that Grandmama gets Christmas).


I agree, there should be. but there isn't

jumbledone wrote:Generally the holidays overrule normal < parenting time >. So, is Memorial Day spelled out? If not, why? If it is, and if falls on their weekend, and it is your year, too bad, so sad for Grandmama.


The only thing that is spelled out is the grandparents get the 4th weekend of every month. No stipulation for Christmas, Thanksgiving, or Memorial day weekend.

jumbledone wrote:I am sure you covered this elsewhere, but why is it a bad idea for XMIL to have kids? They should have some contact with that side of the family.


They believe momma is no threat at all. They told me straight faced that I tricked the courts to get custody.
Momma stole my identity to have me killed. Grandma let momma use her credit card, and her computer to do it. That's facilitating a felony, but no one wants to go after grandma.

I had set up times to meet with other relatives to spend time with my kids.
The only stipulation I put on it was to keep it from momma aka NJ.
They refused. NJ is a great person in their eyes, and they think I'm being unreasonable.

Oh, and a few more things...

Grandma tells the kids she will end up with custody
Grandma records the kids via video and audio, while she pumps them for info.
Grandma has her boss monitor the kids through their health records.
Grandma tells my girls I am going to rape them, it's just a matter of time.
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Re: I lose Memorial Day Weekend, and Christmas?

Postby massdaddio » Mon May 07, 2012 4:24 pm

I agree, holidays/vacations trump the regular schedule. They lose their 4th weekend when there is a holiday. Offer the 3rd weekend to them or they can skip the visit for that month.
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Re: I lose Memorial Day Weekend, and Christmas?

Postby Fatheroffour » Mon May 07, 2012 4:46 pm

Japan.

I'll say Japan because it's an obvious choice for an instant fix to your problem but Japan might not be the right answer for you. Another state or another country. Somewhere away from the evil. You should investigate and at least find out because from my limited view of your situation that you've shared with the forum over the last two years you need to get away from your problem, not just try and learn to cope with it.

Psycho killer family will always be there. You owe it to your children to get them to a healthy adulthood before they have to deal with them, if they so choose, if you can possibly do it without jeopardizing custody.

I'd be googling the crap exploring my options if I were you.
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Re: I lose Memorial Day Weekend, and Christmas?

Postby defaultuser » Mon May 07, 2012 5:04 pm

FWIW, I think this is BS. Grandparents are not parents and therefore should have no rights unless they have been declared in some manner legal guardians.

My state (FL) is very clear on this having supreme court decision that basically says its up to the parents if they want anyone, including grandparents, to have access to the child.

What state are you in?
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Re: I lose Memorial Day Weekend, and Christmas?

Postby spencerian » Mon May 07, 2012 11:35 pm

Kentucky.

I am working on the best possible scenario at the moment.
Name Change happens tomorrow.
Then to the SS office for a number change.

There are no grandparent's rights in KY
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Re: I lose Memorial Day Weekend, and Christmas?

Postby jumbledone » Tue May 08, 2012 2:44 pm

If it is missing, why is it missing?

Is it as caps says and OC wrote the order that the Judge then signed? I'd already be seeking clarification on this, but it is going to get (more) expensive most likely.

Are there transcripts that you can pour over? Was the hearing taped? Something?

And sorry for completely forgetting that you have the Nuttiest NMNJ on the board. Oy.
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