they just emptied my bank account

[walklikeaman]

I am not a man but a woman who is being treated like the dad in terms of finances because I have the higher earning income. The judge gave my ex about 33% of my salary a month plus retroactive maintenance and extra stuff adding up to hundreds of thousands I don't have. They have garnished my wages for 65% and have garnished my bank account, savings and checkings, leaving me no savings and 35% of my salary which does not even cover my morgage. THis will last for about 7 years during which time he will make 75% of our combined income and me 25%. (we were married 7 years by the way). after that he will have about 50%. I have an advanced degree, he is a college drop out. I have more custody of the kids but pay child support. any one ever heard of this.

[RC211V]

Many times, but usually it's the guy who has to pay. You in CA?

[Fatheroffour]

Sucks, don't it.
My guess is the only reason we'll see CS reform in the future is because more and more dads are getting custody.

[walklikeaman]

i wish i were in CA, then it would be 50/50 right? which would be more fair than what i got. I got 100% the debt from house and everything and I pay to pay for his lawyer. He has zero debt and 4 times more money than he could ever have made if he never married me. I'm not sure why he is allowed to live above his income but I can't make ends meet? something seems wrong. will have to declare bankrupcy, foreclose on house losing hundreds of thousands and probably will have to quit high paying job to some regular job because I can't afford food much less child care!

[Fatheroffour]

I know you're in shock and simply can't believe it could possibly be like this.....

Its an every day occurrence. The only unusual component is the gender reversal.

[petepeterson]

I have no doubt she's always been a "divorcing men's rights" advocate, hence the bewilderment...

[jumbledone]

Research imputed income. If you quit your job, your potential earnings stay the same, therefore payments needed to go to alimony and child support will stay the same, you'll just be deeper in debt.

[Fatheroffour]

I'd like to know where this unbiased judge that rules by the law is located so I can mark it on my map I'm creating.

[walklikeaman]

I have worked hard to get what I have. never taken hand outs or expected anything from anyone. I think everyone should do the same, man or woman. why should anyone get money they didn't work for. my ex didn't clean the house, take care of kids or do anything, he was NOT a stay at home mom. and even if he had been, he should be lucky he got to stay home with kids some while i worked. he should be paying me for that time with the kids that no one can take back. i sort of don't mean that because i don't want anything from him. I work for myself and my children, not for a parasite who wasn't a good husband. I do feel for you men for having been suffering this incomprehensible injustice for years. maybe i should go to law school next

[walklikeaman]

my job has too much responbility for the life of others for me to work for how little they have left me. plus they don't leave me enough for child care, how do I go to work when I can't pay for someone to watch my children or pay for gas or my car or food. I'm not talking manicures here, I can't afford to eat!!