How do I get this divorce over with?

Advice on divorce for men considering or starting the divorce process. Get marriage separation advice for men in this divorce forum and child custody forum.

Re: How do I get this divorce over with?

Postby Fatheroffour » Tue May 01, 2012 3:26 pm

If your attorney simply can't figure out what's next, it's probably time to find a good one.
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Re: How do I get this divorce over with?

Postby Bubba Seal » Tue May 01, 2012 3:36 pm

Ditto what FOF said.

I guess in my case at times I kinda held things back, not because I wanted to be mean or get back together, but just to make sure i wasnt rushing a settlement and making mistakes that I would have to live with later.
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Re: How do I get this divorce over with?

Postby demurrer » Tue May 01, 2012 11:20 pm

I'm in Fairfax County and their goal is to have divorces done in 15 months from filing date. Filing date mid-Jan 2012. Custody Trial early January 2013 and Equitable Distribution Trial early Feb 2013.
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Re: How do I get this divorce over with?

Postby GHK » Wed May 02, 2012 4:48 am

demurrer wrote:I'm in Fairfax County and their goal is to have divorces done in 15 months from filing date. Filing date mid-Jan 2012. Custody Trial early January 2013 and Equitable Distribution Trial early Feb 2013.


How did you find out about the "goal" timeliness? I'd like to know what it is for Hampton, or if there even is one. Why does Va suck so bad? I have 3 friends in other states that have already gotten their divorces done and over with in the time I've been waiting! :cry:
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Re: How do I get this divorce over with?

Postby BubbaGumpShrimp » Wed May 02, 2012 7:23 am

Shop around for another attorney. I'm also from VA. From what I've read/heard...a divorce (where kids are involved) should be finalized within 24 months. At least that's the norm in Stafford and Spotsylvania counties. If one or both parties are NJ's...uyou

The problem is it sounds like your lawyer has allowed her to control the momentum. In the case of a divorce, it's in the womans best interest to stall the process out so that you have to keep supporting her. From the sounds of it...your lawyer is a scumbag that's just enjoying the hourly billing. Just my $.02..

GHK wrote:
demurrer wrote:I'm in Fairfax County and their goal is to have divorces done in 15 months from filing date. Filing date mid-Jan 2012. Custody Trial early January 2013 and Equitable Distribution Trial early Feb 2013.


How did you find out about the "goal" timeliness? I'd like to know what it is for Hampton, or if there even is one. Why does Va suck so bad? I have 3 friends in other states that have already gotten their divorces done and over with in the time I've been waiting! :cry:


VA is still firmly entrenched in the 1950's...as far as family court goes. As much as I liked Virginia (past tense)...this whole divorce process and interacting with law enforcement has soured my opinion of it.

We'll see what happens in my case. My personal opinion...it shouldn't take 6+ months to wipe a x<12 month marriage off the books (my scenario).
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Re: How do I get this divorce over with?

Postby Enough » Wed May 02, 2012 9:16 am

Also, study Virginia alimony law. Since she cheated on you that is a strong reason for her NOT to get alimony.
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Re: How do I get this divorce over with?

Postby BubbaGumpShrimp » Wed May 02, 2012 9:27 am

Enough wrote:Also, study Virginia alimony law. Since she cheated on you that is a strong reason for her NOT to get alimony.


Yup. In VA...that's also grounds for going with a fault based filing vs. no-fault.

Also... Go to your base legal office. Having been in the military myself...I guarantee that there are lawyers off base that have a reputation of getting things done vs. others that have a reputation of dicking around and wasting their clients money. In fact...that should probably be your first stop. Take everything you have on your divorce so far...and talk to them.
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Re: How do I get this divorce over with?

Postby GHK » Wed May 02, 2012 2:34 pm

I filed as fault-based, and per the pedente lite, she's not getting alimony so far. Base legal though, won't touch a civilian divorce proceeding. Already tried that one :(
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Re: How do I get this divorce over with?

Postby finallyhappyhere » Tue Jun 26, 2012 9:50 am

Any update on this? My STBX is dragging her feet and waiting for me to hand over the moon.
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Re: How do I get this divorce over with?

Postby GHK » Tue Jun 26, 2012 9:59 am

Still waiting.... :x
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