Why is she keeping them from me?

[LoKoLogan]

I'm posting this here because my divorce is in the process of getting started.

I really just need to kind of vet to others who may or may not understand. Me and my ex are currently separated, we separated a little over a month ago and I didn't have any where to go I was literally sleeping in my car and was in a horrible situation. I was going through a deep depression and very bad SIs. what made it worse is I have a professional job and I had to somehow make no one aware of my situation that I was in because...well...I didn't want people to know. I finally was able to get back on my feet rented a place and it was going well. I had a mutual agreement with my ex to see my children every other weekend and a Saturday once a month when I didn't have them for the weekend.

I paid her child support I left the house that I own so she could stay closer to work and I was really giving in because I want to make this easy for my children.

This weekend was supposed to be the first weekend we started < parenting time >, I asked her to drop them off at my mothers house - a very neutral zone between both of us and a halfway mark distance wise for us. I told her I didn't want to see her or talk to her via phone because I still having feelings for her and I would prefer not to bring those up especially around the kids.

She turned around Saturday morning and cancelled, told me I was not going to see them and that she would take me to court and try to keep them to her self, that I was being immature and irrational. I'm not sure where any of it came from but Its been killing me since this happened. My son turned four on Sunday and I didn't even get to see him either on his birthday or the day before.

I am so confused as to how this benefits anyone, she may want to hurt me and that's fine she can. We've both hurt each other and I found out she had a male friend over and some inappropriate pictures were exchanged between him and her while I was away for work.

I really don't know what the hell is going on and I'm so confused, aggravated, depressed and its a influx of emotions that I don't know how to handle and I don't know why she is keeping them from me. I was finally getting back on my feet from a very deep fall and I feel like she took the only thing I had left away from me.

[defaultuser]

You're on the verge of getting totally screwed in the divorce. I suggest you move back into the house, like right now.

Read the List. Read the divorce laws. Fight for your place in your kids lives or you're going to lose it.

[Fatheroffour]

You should move back in. Until you do, she holds all the cards.

Buy a recorder and record around her 24/7 to protect yourself from possible false DV accusations.

[LoKoLogan]

You're on the verge of getting totally screwed in the divorce. I suggest you move back into the house, like right now.

Read the List. Read the divorce laws. Fight for your place in your kids lives or you're going to lose it.

I've gone over that list and I guess I've already fallen a few steps behind but that list is also a very "interesting" list in regards to most STBX. Maybe I am getting screwed - don't most of us anyways in this process?

All it takes is for her to say one thing and you can be all done - she can cry wolf and the village WILL come running every single time.

I don't have a problem getting screwed out of the house to be honest with you - I can't afford it and she can't.

[LoKoLogan]

I know I need a lawyer I am calling one tomorrow. However, in personal opinions of people on here, where I live while we are still married I have a legal right to the children.

I really would like to notify here I'd like them one such a such date and I will be there in the morning. drive out there and notify the PD and have them at the house as well - just to make sure and be positive nothing will happen

She has always done it to me and pushes my buttons whenever I go over there to where I am going to snap and I walk away from the situation and leave - but I really am pissed about here pulling this crap with my kids.

Do you think that might do more harm then good in both the sense of my children and also in sense of character?

[defaultuser]

Just so you know, when you move out, from a legal standpoint you're abandoning your children. Essentially you are telling the court that you give the children to her and forfeit custody. It is probably THE biggest mistake you can make if you want to have more than every other weekend parenting.

BTW, if you make a decent income and you get screwed with the custody, you'll also get screwed with the financial stuff.

You have every legal right to the children she does right now, but have no way to enforce having time with the kids. If I were her attorney, I'd suggest she do exactly what she's doing.

If you insist on staying out of the house, the custody fight will be a short one. You'll lose. If you want to get some court ordered time with your kids, you need to get an attorney, file for divorce and go through a temporary hearing where the judge will order that you pay temporary alimony and child support along with the household bills or something similar.

Its not our opinion that you should move back in the house. We're telling you that if you don't, you have an almost insurmountable hurdle to overcome if you want more than the state minimum amount of custody.

We understand how undesirable moving back in is, but we want your kids to have a father when they grow up so we're trying to help you.

[Fatheroffour]

Maybe I am getting screwed - don't most of us anyways in this process?

[gadad223]

Maybe I am getting screwed - don't most of us anyways in this process?

QFT


Move back in

[Chosen2Dad]

THAT SUCKS AND PLEASE GET BACK IN THE < edited > HOUSE!

Break in if you have to! That's your house too! And get a lawyer! And I'm sure someone told you to read the list and start quickly. I wish I had read it prior to filing just to get the jump.

[MrCoolDC]

You need a good lawyer, a good therapist, and a visit to your doctor for an anti-depressant prescription. Those three things can be taken care of in a day or less, so do it right now. As of now you are giving up, and it's a huge mistake on your part. Six weeks from now, with a low dose of anti-depressants, some therapy, and a couple of talks with a good lawyer, things will look better.

By the way, you won't just be handing your wife and kids a house, but also her next boyfriend or husband.