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Have you ever noticed all the posts here from guys who worry about the Ex-wife's new boyfriend "sleeping over" - how all the morality clauses are about overnight guests? In the imagination of these folks, the molester is getting out of bed (not waking the other party), sneaking into the childs room (not waking the other party), and getting all molest-ey in the dark of the night (still not waking the other party). It's part of the myth of molestation, that somehow it only happens at night and nobody else ever wakes up to the molester roaming around the house.
I will suggest that your NJ is smart enough to attack your weakest areas - in this case your night job. You better start introducing "Plan B" into everything you consider, like this night job as a source of income for your schooling. Nothing you do can rest solely on a single element - like this job - you should be looking for alternatives to everything - like this job.
I hope you will take the time to sit with Jim, eyeball-to-eyeball, and tell him what you have told us about his character. Tell him he's a hero in your world, then seek his advice, and include him in your planning discussions. What does he say?
I could easily be in Jim's shoes, I'm old enough, and I would run (not walk) if my new GMILF son's nutjob ex-wife threw this out there. *poof*
I received a response to my e-mail concerning my objection to D3 moving. I will go into more detail about that in a little bit.
She addressed the "sexual allegations" in writing this time. I want to quote the e-mail so that you all can see how much she played it up the first time:
"Also when D3 came back from your moms house she said more than one time - PawPaw took off his pants - now she was laughing like something funny happened but I would like to know what happened. "
I do not think the allegations issue will go any further honestly. Especially since she goes on to say this:
"I am not accusing anyone of anything - I just want to know why she would say that? Just let me know if you have any answer as to why she would say that? I just found it intresting."
Side note: I know for a fact that NJ's father (pops) has taken a shower with D3 when she was a little younger. This made me uncomfortable back then, but I didn't make it an issue.
On this issue of relocating she gave me a little gold nugget in writing. I'll paraphrase:
We will only move if "babydaddy" gets accepted into law school down there. This is a good thing because he will be able to make money and provide a better life for D3 since he is about to be her step-father. And since our MSA states that you have every other weekend, I will see to it that D3 is brought to you on your Thursdays.
She also said that she has offered in the past to lower my CS obligation so that I dont have to work a 2nd job. I only pay 290 right now. She could totally not accept CS and I would still need that 2nd job. Clearly she does not know how financially difficult it is to live on your own and support a child with no help from a sugardaddy/parents. My income from my day job is equivalent to 8.20/hr after taxes/benefits.
I am going back to my attorney tomorrow to show him the emails before I respond to NJ.
You are probably right. I mean, I said what I needed to say. Everything she is saying is trying to convince me to allow her to move. I am not budging. I do think that some of the things she said will help me with custody (along with my documentation and witnesses) down the road.
Therefore, I'll just let her panties bunch up even further by not responding. Thanks guys.
Trying to have a bit of a sense of humor. Crickets as in: Silence. Nothing, Nada, etc. Forward the email if you want to your lawyer, but realize there is nothing to be gained from engaging her. You've both set out your lines in the sand. Let her blink.
I figured thats what you meant. But since it was typed, I didnt know if you were referring to what I should do or the fact that no one was answering. Haha. But yes, I will take your advice.
In the first e-mail, she did say "You mentioned that you have recently moved. I need to know your new address for when D3 is with you."
I simply responded "My new address is _________". So after her breaking her fingers writing out 3 long emails, I responded with my new address because I saw nothing else that needed a response at this time.
At one point she asked "what is D3's sleeping arrangements at your house?" Crickets