I need a game plan

[SmokinMeanRibz]

NJ wants to move D3 three hours away - (just got off the phone)
In August I will have put myself in a position to take on up to full custody.
NJ says that it is in the best interests of D3 to move - (arrogance)

I have documentation of all time spent with D3 dating back at least 3 months. I have witnesses at D3's school, dance class, and third parties that can attest to my parenting.
I have D3 EOW starting on Thursday night because I have every other Friday off. I have never taken D3 to daycare on my off-fridays in order to spend time with her.

NJ cannot cite any reason as to why I am "unfit" other than "I have to rely on someone else to watch D3 while she sleeps because I work nights". The therapist I see is a professional child psycologist. She said that D3 being under the care of someone other than me at night is the equivalent of a parent working night shift. As long as D3's basic needs are being met and I am spending documented quality time with D3, the fact that she is under someone else's care while I work is irrelevant.

Here is where it gets rocky.

I told NJ that I was going to have to object to D3 moving. I told her that she would receive a letter shortly. She knows that she cannot move.

Amidst the conversation where I never raised my voice or said anything that can be used against me, she threw out a sexual abuse allegation against D3's papa (my stepfather).

She said that "D3 says that she is scared every time she goes there and she cannot sleep and that "Jim" takes his robe off in front of her and 'whips it around'". She goes on to say, "D3 even describes the sound it makes".

I know this to be false for a number of reasons. "Jim" doesn't own a robe. "Robe" isn't in D3's vocabulary. D3 doesn't call him "Jim", she calls him "papa". I see D3 and "Jim" interact and it is the most loving thing I could imagine. My mother is there constantly and would be aware of any abuse. D3 has never acted out of the ordinary on the drive up to their house or back from their house. As a matter of fact, she is always excited to go and upset when she has to leave.

I feel like NJ could be attempting to prod D3 into saying these things - if she is saying anything at all.

I told NJ that I would like to amicably modify custody since I was working towards getting in a position to do so. She seems to think that our MSA's conditions are etched in stone forever and that it cannot be modified. She even said that it is in D3's best interests that D3 spends the majority of her time with her.

What do I do?

I know I must do a number of things, I just need to know what order/when:

-Contact my lawyer (waiting on him to call back)
-Object to the move in writing (I have a letter saved that I will now send since she explicitly told me her plans)
-Continue documenting
-Disprove allegations (Help!)
-Continue working toward setting myself up for at least 50/50

I put a little bug in NJ's ear claiming that she and babydaddy and newbaby can move, but D3 needs to stay here. D3 can live with me and we can work out a new parenting schedule for NJ. (All of this I plan on stating in my letter) She laughed at me like I was a piece of trash.

[defaultuser]

The really obvious thing you should do is stop talking to the NJ. Frankly, you should know better. This is how you will lose custody if you do...

Not only will you be dealing with false accusations of child abuse, you'll be dealing with the NJ saying that you're verbally abusive as well. In Florida, you can't record phone calls unless she is informed about the call being recorded so its her word against yours. The best defense is that you never speak with her unless its in writing or there are witnesses present.

As far as the sexual abuse thing, I would bring this up with your parents and explain the situation. When your kid is spending time with them, you should always have someone else present. Your kid should not spend any time alone with Papa. That will help, but if someone believes the abuse story, then you're behind the 8 ball.

I'd for sure document to your lawyer this threat, and exactly what the NJ said to you. Her story will likely change over time and she'll get times and dates wrong. This is probably the best thing you can do to disprove the accusation, and your documentation of what she told you will come in handy.

You may consider minimizing the amount of time your kid spends with her grandparents for a while.

[Fatheroffour]

She has thrown down the nuclear gauntlet.

Quit talking to her.

[Trevor]

Glad you decided to stay local? [Rhet.]

[SmokinMeanRibz]

Gathering my journals and going to see a lawyer right now. He believes we can use this as a way to get me primary.

Wish me luck on talking to the lawyer.

[SmokinMeanRibz]

Lawyer said that since NJ has clearly stated her intentions, I need to clearly and politely object to relocation. He said that I need to attach the relocation statutes to the e-mail and written letter.

In regards to the allegations of abuse, he recommended that my mom and step-dad take a polygraph test with questions that he drafts. Obviously, it would only be used as defense - just in case. As far as I know, NJ has not called the authorities to officially press charges. I still firmly believe that she pulled the allegations out of her < edited > because she knows that I am an obstacle standing in the way of her having primary and relocating.

[Fatheroffour]

Such allegations can end up with someone in prison and should be taken very seriously, even if you think she's talking out her < hindquarters >.

Couple the allegation with a routine infection, kids natural exploration of their own body or normal childhood play and the issue can take on a life of its own and ruin lives.

[SmokinMeanRibz]

My attorney said the same thing in regards to allegations taking a life of its own. But I know she is saying this in order to bypass the court system and to move to Orlando.

I mean I am caught between a rock and a hard place. I feel like I can agree to her moving and she will never open her mouth about an allegation of abuse again. I most certainly do not want that to happen. I'm not going to let her just move.

[Anything4Her]

I feel like I can agree to her moving and she will never open her mouth about an allegation of abuse again.

That is precisely why she made it up. She wants to intimidate you into not objecting. Do what is right for your kid, don't wimp out b/c of false allegations.

[Fatheroffour]

I have used "you should hear what the kids say about you" when confronted about nonsense the kids are supposedly sayingabout me or my home. Its always shut it down.

Are you sure kiddo isn't having nightmares about baby daddy?