Delayed 50/50. Thoughts?

[AlmostSane]

Hi,

It's been a while since I last posted. We are still living in the same house. We currently have a schedule where each one of us is taking care of the kids 50%. So, on my days I take care of everything. And on her days, she does the same.

STBX and I are now negotiating the parenting schedule. In the past she's said that the kids belong with the mother, or that she cannot be away from the kids not even one night. I have stated that 50/50 custody is what best benefits our kids (2yo and 5yo).

Now she says that she wants a bit more than 50/50, because our little one is too young.

So, I've been thinking on a scenario where we put in the parenting schedule that for the next 6-12 months, the parenting will be 43/57 (i.e. she gets them 8 days out of 14 days), and then after this time, we go to 50/50.

Does this make any sense?

[Thoughts?]

First, to be specific, when you say you care for them 50%, that means you care for them at your residence, correct?

Second, how long since this has been going on?

Lastly, what state are you in?

[Fatheroffour]

Does this make any sense?

It does make sense.

It allows you to settle now for the promise of something you want in the future and it allows her to get what she wants now and time to figure out how to screw you out of your end of the agreement.

[AlmostSane]

First, to be specific, when you say you care for them 50%, that means you care for them at your residence, correct?

Yes.

Second, how long since this has been going on?

3 months.

Lastly, what state are you in?

I'm in Florida.

[AlmostSane]

Does this make any sense?

It does make sense.

It allows you to settle now for the promise of something you want in the future and it allows her to get what she wants now and time to figure out how to screw you out of your end of the agreement.

So, putting this on paper, on the court order, has no weight, and she can renege on this later?

How? Through a custody mod?

[Fatheroffour]

It has weight but its not definitive. Know that going in.

[defaultuser]

I think you should go for the 50/50 now. Here is why:

1. You're in Florida, a state where 50/50 isn't that difficult to get.

2. You're doing 50% now, which is status quo, and its working.

What is the difference between her being away from the kids and you being away from the kids? Are they still breastfeeding?

[CCR]

Custody changes are difficult to get. I have doubts if you had it written in your decree as you propose that a court would uphold it. Status quo will prevail.

Stick with 50/50 and make sure neither of you is named the custodial parent.

[hoosier_dad]

So, putting this on paper, on the court order, has no weight, and she can renege on this later?

Keep in mind that Family Court never relinquishes the right to decide in the best interests of the children, regardless of what you and your ex agree to. So yes she can file a custody mod later and argue that it is in the best interests of your children to continue the current parenting arrangement rather than up your time.

Also I thought 50/50 rulings are becoming more and more common in Florida so you might be giving up something that you could get now rather than waiting and risking her blocking it later.

[defaultuser]

and make sure neither of you is named the custodial parent.

This is a non-issue in Florida. Even if one parent has 95% of the time, there is no custodial parent, only a time-sharing schedule and parental responsibility.