Getting Remarried and Wanting Kids In Wedding Issue

[tipopilota]

I am getting re-married and my wedding is in a couple months. I emailed my ex several months ago letting her know I would like our kids for a few days prior to the wedding as well as during the wedding since they will be in it. The ex promptly refuses and says that is her weekend and I should of planned my wedding on my weekend and not hers. We have 2 weeks each of vacation each year and she said she was planning on doing vacation but did not plan make any definitive plans as of yet. We were in mediation a month or so ago as I was trying to get more custody and this time was brought up and the mediator explicitly told her she is to allow me to have the kids during this time as this is a special occasion. Of course the mediator did not write this in her documentation when submitting to the court. Now I go and confirm that we are set for the time and the ex again is refusing for me to have our kids during this time. What are my options at this point?

[Fatheroffour]

It seems to me that the mediator was out of line laying down how it was supposed to be.

I don't know what your custody schedule is like but it seems to me you don't have many options. What specific wording in the order is she violating for not acquiescing to this request of yours?

[BartSimpson]

Too much, too quick.

You have not even been divorced a year yet.

This is the kind of difficulties you have when you divorce one NJ, and remarry another NJ so quickly. You are the fool to expect your Ex to cooperate, given your history.

[TransAm]

I pretty much went through this last year.

Ex wanted to get married on my weekend. Instead of just asking me, her attny contacted my attny to ask me to trade weekends, and if I didn't agree, an emergency motion was going to be filed. And according to my attorney, likely granted for such an occasion. So I just traded weekends. But in retrospect, should of said no, made her file the motion, (her $), then agree at the courthouse just for spite.

So, your attny should be able to do something for about 5-700$.

[Chris A]

Ok just point out that there are lots of years ahead and I'm sure in the future you will have time to remember this important date and her lack of compromise. Save her quote for her as I'm sure you will have plenty of opportunity to reuse it.

[Trevor]

Planning stuff on her weekends is unsmart. My X used to do that all.the.time, and would still be doing it were my kids still minors. She relished the opportunity to make me out to be the bad guy. You're not doing this as your intent, I am sure, but you did hand her the keys to the gate by choosing as you did.

You have access to the divorce decree and calendars, ergo KNEW it wasn't your weekend. And by not putting it on your weekend, you asked for trouble. You chose the difficult path. By expecting her to cooperate was asking for trouble, foolishly. And now by getting angry at her about it is, well, transparent.

Sure she should be decent, but come on. Sure we are on your side, bro, and hope she works it out with you. But one has to wonder...WTF were you thinking? [Rhet.]

[capslock]

too much too soon. reschedule for your weekend.











2 years from now.

[Bubba Seal]

Simple reschedule for your weekend, that was a dumb thing to do, knowing how your ex is from what you say.

I got remarried, my son was my best man, but my daughter 14 at the time didnt want to be there, so I didnt force it. She stayed with her mom, no biggie to me, one way or the other.

Make sure your kids want to be there, doesnt matter whether the ex is influencing them or not, ask them and make sure they want to be there, if they dont all you will do is add drama to your wedding day, you have some choices here to make. And I know there are those on here that will say its important that they be there, I say hogwash on that, you want to enjoy your day, if your kids are going to be a problem on this, then you are starting another marriage with some of the same old issues.

Good Luck

[newwife]

Agreed. Relying on nj to stick to what was agreed or in her being generous.....dumb....

You could take the kids and keep them anyway-but won't look good...

[tipopilota]

You guys are all great. I have enjoyed reading all your replies on this. Should I of made it for my weekend sure if the place we were getting married at was available for that time for the time frame I could get off of work.. Ohh well. Should my NJ Ex be more accommodating sure, but then again I am not married to her for a reason. Honestly I have learned through the course of this that every damn thing needs to be spelled out on a court document or it will be up to her NJ MPD to come up with what she feels is the right answer for her. All I have to say is Karma is a *$*% Thanks again for all your responses.