I don't understand what I can do to get more time.

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I don't understand what I can do to get more time.

Postby jj22441 » Mon Apr 16, 2012 8:33 pm

Virginia.

Had to be separated for 1 year before filing for divorce: NOW I CAN

After a 11 months of waiting, the Custody hearing was last week. I got the minimum. Every other weekend, Wed Nights, every other Wed is an overnight. Split Summers, Split Holidays. Joint legal

She got awarded temporary alimony pending the divorce.

I am about to file for divorce and have been advised by my attorney to appeal the custody decision and get that lumped into the divorce proceedings, otherwise I apparently run the risk of not being able to address custody during the divorce.

I have my attorney and have interviewed another 5 and I keep getting the same response. Maybe we can get sunday overnight added as well. I will spend the extra thousands of dollars to get just two extra nights a month but ideally I would like to get more. I'm flexible with what more means. I would love joint but ex is not in favor of it.

From what you guys have said here, that I need to focus on why more time is beneficial to my daughter 6 and why less time is detrimental to her. I don't know how to do that, aside from the obvious.

List of things I think about and some facts

Our ages me 31 her 34

Length of marriage: 6 years

My daughter lives with her mother and her grandparents.

My daughter shares a room with her mother.

my EX's only financial way out of her Mother's house is to one day marry her new boyfriend who owns a home.

I fear at any point my ex might flee with my daughter again. ( done it twice without repercussions from the court, despite my efforts.)

Prior to the separation, I worked full time but worked my 40 hours in 3 days and was off the other 4 and was just as much of a caregiver as my ex who worked sporadically.

I go have lunch at my daughters school more than any other parent. I try to go at least once a week.

I am as involved as I can be with her school. It is difficult as my Ex is now an employee of the school and thwarts my efforts to be involved. Despite that I am still involved.

I am planning on getting married again and having more children. I already have the girl picked out and we plan on getting married as soon as this divorce is over, and start another family. She has a two year old son (50/50 on her EX). I believe my daughter should spend as much time as possible in a "natural" family setting as this will help her break the cycle of leaving men and taking children that her mother and grandmother plan on indoctrinating her into.


Thats all I can think of right now. I don't know what to do or how to present a case and give the judge a reason to give us more time together. I won't quit fighting for my daughters rights but I don't know how to. Please help!
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Re: I don't understand what I can do to get more time.

Postby BartSimpson » Mon Apr 16, 2012 8:38 pm

I am planning on getting married again and having more children. I already have the girl picked out and we plan on getting married as soon as this divorce is over, and start another family. She has a two year old son (50/50 on her EX). I believe my daughter should spend as much time as possible in a "natural" family setting as this will help her break the cycle of leaving men and taking children that her mother and grandmother plan on indoctrinating her into.

Stuff like this is why you don't get more time, and shouldn't in my book.
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Re: I don't understand what I can do to get more time.

Postby jj22441 » Mon Apr 16, 2012 8:42 pm

BartSimpson wrote:
I am planning on getting married again and having more children. I already have the girl picked out and we plan on getting married as soon as this divorce is over, and start another family. She has a two year old son (50/50 on her EX). I believe my daughter should spend as much time as possible in a "natural" family setting as this will help her break the cycle of leaving men and taking children that her mother and grandmother plan on indoctrinating her into.

Stuff like this is why you don't get more time, and shouldn't in my book.


Can you elaborate. I didn't leave her for another woman. I met her 6 months after we separated. Whats so off about wanting my daughter to have a family with brothers and sisters?
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Re: I don't understand what I can do to get more time.

Postby defaultuser » Mon Apr 16, 2012 8:47 pm

Just curious, but in your custody hearing, what evidence did you present?
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Re: I don't understand what I can do to get more time.

Postby BartSimpson » Mon Apr 16, 2012 8:51 pm

It's too much, too quick.

It's not reasonable, and you are only hopeful for this magic "family" - it is a fantasy.

Not to mention that the ink is still wet for your little Cupcake's divorce, too.
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Re: I don't understand what I can do to get more time.

Postby jj22441 » Mon Apr 16, 2012 8:59 pm

defaultuser wrote:Just curious, but in your custody hearing, what evidence did you present?



Presented my role prior to the separation as an equal care-giver.

Showed my ex's tendency to run off with our daughter

Showed how my ex has interfered with my parenting time. E.G. telling the school i cant pick up our daughter from school.

Showed how despite her efforts I have still been involved.

Showed the flexibility of my schedule

Had witnesses testify to my parenting abilities.

Showed/Stated how my daughter looks forward to time with me.

Showed how the grandmother has interfered

Showed how I stayed involved with doctors and extracurricular activities.

I believe we tried to focus on why i am a good dad and only addressed my ex in rebuttal to accusations.

We tried to show that we are reasonable and willing to work with Ex.
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Re: I don't understand what I can do to get more time.

Postby jj22441 » Mon Apr 16, 2012 9:03 pm

BartSimpson wrote:It's too much, too quick.

It's not reasonable, and you are only hopeful for this magic "family" - it is a fantasy.

Not to mention that the ink is still wet for your little Cupcake's divorce, too.


Ok, I agree it is a fantasy. Hence, something I dream about. It's not something I am considering presenting in court but when the ink is finally dry on my divorce. We will have been separated two years and I would have been with "cupcake" (Think I'm gonna start calling her that) over a year by then.
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Re: I don't understand what I can do to get more time.

Postby jj22441 » Mon Apr 16, 2012 9:05 pm

BartSimpson wrote:It's too much, too quick.

It's not reasonable, and you are only hopeful for this magic "family" - it is a fantasy.

Not to mention that the ink is still wet for your little Cupcake's divorce, too.


Cupcake is two years removed from divorce. Split when son was a baby. He cheated.
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Re: I don't understand what I can do to get more time.

Postby BartSimpson » Mon Apr 16, 2012 9:16 pm

Right, then. Wifey was just a fluke - an accident of sorts - and Cupcake is not like all those other women. How lucky are you to separate from a horrible marriage and find the girl of your dreams so quickly - Match.com is not getting any of your business.

I'm pretty good with math, I can do it in my head. So I can figure out that you've been with Cupcake for 5 months now. Yet every course you have plotted includes Cupcake, with some fantasy that your daughter will be integrated into this "natural family". What are the odds?

You guys live together already, right?
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Re: I don't understand what I can do to get more time.

Postby jj22441 » Mon Apr 16, 2012 9:41 pm

BartSimpson wrote:Right, then. Wifey was just a fluke - an accident of sorts - and Cupcake is not like all those other women. How lucky are you to separate from a horrible marriage and find the girl of your dreams so quickly - Match.com is not getting any of your business.

I'm pretty good with math, I can do it in my head. So I can figure out that you've been with Cupcake for 5 months now. Yet every course you have plotted includes Cupcake, with some fantasy that your daughter will be integrated into this "natural family". What are the odds?

You guys live together already, right?


Uh, no. I am very careful with introducing anyone into my daughters life. I am lucky to have met this girl after my marriage but the point I was trying to make doesn't have anything to do with her. The point I thought I was trying to make is that I dislike divorce and believe in family unlike my ex who believes in sperm donors.
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