anyone buy out a ex?

[nevermorenevermore]

im thinking if i could put enough money together (250K or so) my stbx would walk away from everything: house, kids, me.

i have raised tons of $ in the past for business, never been as motivated as now to raise money to be free from her thankless paws. i would love to give her what she thinks she wants.

am i dreaming or has this been done? in or out of court?

[BartSimpson]

Which State are you in?

Are all 5 kids from this marriage? What are their ages?

And lastly, what does Wifey want to do with herself - you know - after she takes the money?

[nevermorenevermore]

Which State are you in?

Are all 5 kids from this marriage? What are their ages?

And lastly, what does Wifey want to do with herself - you know - after she takes the money?

-Colorado
-yes, all from "us" ages range from 3 to 10
-heckifiknow... move to new york, meet mr wonderful, heck if i care two hoots.

[hoosier_dad]

-Colorado
-yes, all from "us" ages range from 3 to 10

Doubtful any amount of money you throw at her will have any impact in Colorado. We constantly hear it's the worst state for Dads to get divorced in and one of the primary reasons is a 10+ year marriage you are looking at hefty lifetime alimony. I'm guessing with a 10yr old your marriage has passed that threshold.

[BartSimpson]

-Colorado

That's bad news. If Wifey does any checking, she will discover that she is entitled to lifetime alimony. Colorado is one of (if not the) worst states to divorce. She will make twice a $250k buyout if she simply divorces you.

-yes, all from "us" ages range from 3 to 10

Let's see, 7 divided by 5 . . . you two trying for some record? Do you plan on having your Mom or somebody else move in and help - how will you support this gaggle of kids without Wifey's financial help? There are huge logistics issues with 5 kids, and somebody is going to want to know how you can do it all.

-heckifiknow... move to new york, meet mr wonderful, heck if i care two hoots.

It is very important to your negotiations, I wouldn't be blowing it off, sir. Does she spend a lot of time on Facebook?

[nevermorenevermore]

-Colorado

That's bad news. If Wifey does any checking, she will discover that she is entitled to lifetime alimony. Colorado is one of (if not the) worst states to divorce. She will make twice a $250k buyout if she simply divorces you.

-yes, all from "us" ages range from 3 to 10

Let's see, 7 divided by 5 . . . you two trying for some record? Do you plan on having your Mom or somebody else move in and help - how will you support this gaggle of kids without Wifey's financial help? There are huge logistics issues with 5 kids, and somebody is going to want to know how you can do it all.

-heckifiknow... move to new york, meet mr wonderful, heck if i care two hoots.

It is very important to your negotiations, I wouldn't be blowing it off, sir. Does she spend a lot of time on Facebook?

so, i don't mean to be cavalier, not blowing it off. im here to learn....so, yes, she spends a lot of time on FB. may I ask why this matters? (im missing something here, huh?).
-i am logging my time with the kids in my journal.
-figures that colorado has some bad to go with all the good. (but WTF is "lifetime alimony" ?)
-"wifeys financial help" what do you mean here? sure, i would love to turn tables on her, she hasn't worked since we got married (i mean, being a mom is work, but you know). she is going back to school to be a nurse. she said she qualified for "displaced homemaker" grants or something.

[BartSimpson]

It's called the Mr. Wonderful Effect, and it means that while she has her new man in her fantasy, she'll negotiate for less than necessary. Strategically, if she wanted to move to Texas or something, I'd say move with her and divorce her there. Anywhere but Colorado.

Lifetime alimony means you will pay her, as a SAH mom, a large portion of your income and retirement for the rest of her natural life. She can always go back for another bite at the apple in Colorado, so even if she signs a sweetheart deal, she can petition to change it, increase it or garnish it..

Can you pay all the bills, continue to work, and take care of the kids by yourself?

Have you read "the list" for suggestions applicable to your circumstance?

[nevermorenevermore]

It's called the Mr. Wonderful Effect, and it means that while she has her new man in her fantasy, she'll negotiate for less than necessary. Strategically, if she wanted to move to Texas or something, I'd say move with her and divorce her there. Anywhere but Colorado.

*starting to feel sick*

Lifetime alimony means you will pay her, as a SAH mom, a large portion of your income and retirement for the rest of her natural life. She can always go back for another bite at the apple in Colorado, so even if she signs a sweetheart deal, she can petition to change it, increase it or garnish it..

*yep, definitely sick now, boys*

Can you pay all the bills, continue to work, and take care of the kids by yourself?

honestly no, at least not right now.

Have you read "the list" for suggestions applicable to your circumstance?

yes, been reading over it the past few days... good stuff. this really sux.....

[BartSimpson]

What would sux is if you didn't find us and make the necessary preparations in advance of filing. You need to set you goals and work backwards from there. Typically it's best for the kids to have 50/50 - but if Mom's moving, things get real dicey.

We have a fellow here - coscrewed - who has the Colorado thing pretty sorted out for a layman. If he doesn't happen along soon, I suggest you reach out to him for some pointers.

The question of what Wifey wants is important. Going back to school for nursing as a middle-aged woman isn't going to put her in the pink, and somebody is going to whisper to her the magic words "alimony" sooner rather than later.

And child support - for 5 kids - in Colorado? I seem to recall that it is as draconian as the alimony, you could end up paying her no matter what.

[hoosier_dad]

We have a fellow here - coscrewed - who has the Colorado thing pretty sorted out for a layman. If he doesn't happen along soon, I suggest you reach out to him for some pointers.

I think coscrewed's strategy is pretty simple, do not get divorced in Colorado if at all possible.

What's your status? Divorce filed, thinking about divorce, wife on the verge of filing?