summer residential schedule

[Groundhogday]

This will be our first summer with the permanent parenting plan. The kids switch off every other week, and we each get to choose a two-week vacation. In even years, I get first choice for my two-week vacation.

Problem: A month ago my STBX sent me her schedule for the summer. No discussion. No proposal. Just a statement telling me which weeks and weekends she HAD to have the kids and which weeks she had other plans and couldn't take the kids. In particular, she wants me to take the kids for the 3rd week in July when she wants to attend a work-related retreat. I would have agreed if that matched my schedule, but I'm taking the girls to visit family and following two weeks are what work for my Dad (chemo) and sister (kids camps and availability of a shared cabin).

After insisting for weeks that I take the 3rd and 4th weeks of July for my vacation, STBX now says that if I take my planned vacation I will also have to take the kids the week prior, and therefore she will take the girls for three straight weeks before that. Our girls are 4 and 7, so three weeks apart from either parent isn't a good idea. The parenting plan says nothing about this sort of solution. Does anyone have suggested resolutions to this problem?

FWIW, last summer I asked to move my week forward by half a day to fit available flights for a cross-country trip with the girls. Though she had no conflict of any kind, STBX refused to even consider making an adjustment (I ended up spending an extra grand on the flight with an itinerary from hell.)

[jumbledone]

Let her know when you will be picking the girls up for YOUR weeks. If you have an enforceable ROFR, let her know that the week prior is her week, but that per the terms of the ROFR, you'd be more than happy to pick the girls up and watch them that week, also. Do not offer extra time in return. The week she is requesting is for HER benefit, not the kids'.

Then if she continues to hem and haw, might be time to start sabre-rattling regarding contempt, R3, AALs, etc.

[Trevor]

jumbled is right. She is trying to shift a problem that is hers and make it into your problem. She doesn't get to pick first, and your vacation time is equally important as hers. Understand that because you no longer bail her out of her problems, she will make that into you being a complete dick sack.

[Fatheroffour]

your vacation time is MORE important as hers