Need Advice - Reducing CS

[tsawyer]

Been divorced now for around 18 months. The wife left the family home and took our children out of state. After which, she largely refused < parenting time > accept under limited circumstances with her supervising. She was documented lying on multiple occasions, and filed several false cases with CPS in order to get an upper hand in custody. Although not a psychiatrist, I would label her with NPD, with a terrible, typical American Woman sense of self entitlement; and no morals to boot.

I studied "the list" extensively, and was able to use this website to retain one of the best attorney's in my area. Unfortunately, we got stuck with a really old fashioned judge that ordered EOW + 1 weeknight in the temporary orders. Because of her lies, and the skill of my attorney, we were able to turn things around somewhat. Net < parenting time > is at 38/62 her favor in the final divorce decree. That is how biased the feminized family court system is in America. The judge knew she was lying out of her < hindquarters > the whole time, and even seemed to actually like me during the trial.

Questions:

1 - I am overpaying approx $100 to $200 a month in child support based upon the state guidelines. How soon is too soon to ask to get this changed, and can I precede with this without an attorney?

2 - Would it make more sense to open up the can of works again, and fight for more time? The NJ and I have been getting along pretty well for the last year, and my sense is if I went back into court for more custody, it will be a huge fight again. I don't like the NJ, I actually detest her in many ways, but would like to be on good terms to limit my children to fighting & turmoil. Note on this: NJ actually asks me to take the children for extra days when she has stuff going on.

3 - I am utterly broke right now, and had to file for bankruptcy right after the divorce was final. I drained my 401K and borrowed from family to pay off the initial attorney fees, and get to where I am at today. Retaining an attorney at this point is not an option, and won't be for the next 2 years or so.


Side note: NJ is getting remarried in a few months. There haven’t been any issues thus far with the new beau.

[jumbledone]

I would hold off on both accounts right now if you can swing the CS. With her giving you some of her time with the kids, document it all. Build your case you are the primary.

If you file for modification of either, she might pull the kids back, and you're standing at square 1 again.

[Fatheroffour]

NJ actually asks me to take the children for extra days when she has stuff going on.

If you can make it sickeningly easy for her to continue to do this, it's worth exploring the option of just how much time would she eventually give to you. Document and when it peaks, evaluate whether its worth going back for a mod and what kind of mod it should be.

[tsawyer]

I don't know that I can handle more time with the kids right now, as much as I would like to. My job is very demanding, and I am doing the best I can right now. Ideally, I would like to have 50\50, but am not sure it is worth the stress on the kids, or the $$$$, for 11% more time. It would be an ugly court battle.

Is just filling to lower CS relatively painless? Are you suggesting, in order to have a shot at it, I need to wait for more time? I can handle the higher CS for now, but want to get it taken care of eventually.

Lastly, do I need an attorney to lower CS? From what I have read, it is just a form you fill out at the court house? Any gotchas I need to watch out for with it?

[jumbledone]

Which is it? In the first post you mentioned going to get more time, and in the scond one pretty much discounting it.

[tsawyer]

Which is it? In the first post you mentioned going to get more time, and in the scond one pretty much discounting it.

Do they have to be one and the same?

I would love to have 50\50 with my kids, I am not sure it is worth the pain on everyone to get there right now. With the extra time I get "off the books", I am right there anyway. I don't see any reason to put the kids thru hell, and spend $$$ on attorneys just to make it official on a piece of paper.

[justlarry]

You need to check with your local court. In my state (PA) it is easy to file. Just fill out a form and that gets you in front of an officer of the court to plug your numbers in the computer. If you agree fine. If one party disagrees then you get a day in court. You don't need a lawyer for that either but it does get more formal with procedure. If your looking to knock down $100 a month you probably would pay more in lawyer fees than giving it your best shot and losing on your own. If your above guidline now it probably would not go up.

As to when? In my state you can get a review every 3 years without cause. You can get a review any time if there would be a change in circumstance that causes a 10-15% change. Being unhappy with what you agreed to is not a chnage in circumstance. Either party income up or down (10-15%) would be.

[tsawyer]

You need to check with your local court. In my state (PA) it is easy to file. Just fill out a form and that gets you in front of an officer of the court to plug your numbers in the computer. If you agree fine. If one party disagrees then you get a day in court. You don't need a lawyer for that either but it does get more formal with procedure. If your looking to knock down $100 a month you probably would pay more in lawyer fees than giving it your best shot and losing on your own. If your above guidline now it probably would not go up.

As to when? In my state you can get a review every 3 years without cause. You can get a review any time if there would be a change in circumstance that causes a 10-15% change. Being unhappy with what you agreed to is not a chnage in circumstance. Either party income up or down (10-15%) would be.

Thanks Justlarry. This is real helpful.

Does her getting re-married constitute a change in circumstances? Her new beau makes as much as I do, supposedly.

[TransAm]

No. She can marry Donald Trump and you'd still pay the same.

[Fatheroffour]

Getting remarried will be a change of circumstance concerning real alimony but not the alimony masquerading as child support.