Back to court for CS.

[AlmostSingle]

Long story short.....My atty screwed up. My atty, his paralegal, and the mediator all misread the CS worksheet. By state guidelines I am supposed to pay about $120/m. My atty kept telling me that she would have to pay me that amount. She was unrepresented and agreed to pay me in mediation. After the fact she consulted somebody and figured it out.

It was just a matter of time before she took me back to court for CS.

Now before I get flamed, I know $120 is minimal, and next to nothing compared to what some off the Dads here have to pay out. But the principle of of it all really gets to me.

Let me explain: We have 50/50 parenting time and joint legal custody of D2. Outside of the courts we are also excercising the same schedule with SD11. SD, in all but the legal aspect is my kid. She has lived with me since she was 4, she has only seen her bio dad a couple of times in the last 6 years and brefore that he was a 1 or 2 weekend a month type of Dad. So to SD11 I am Dad. I'm pretty grateful that NJ realizes this to. I plan to continue to be Dad to SD11.

The part that gets to me is that the NJ just can't understand that SD11 is an expense for me. Other then morally I have no obligation to her. But I do it anyway, because I want to, and I wouldn't be able to sleep at night if I turned my back on SD.

My income is a little more than double what NJ's is. But if you factor in the food stamps, medicade, subsidized housing and all the other free government handouts NJ gets it closes the gap substantially.

[AlmostSingle]

(I can't seem to go past a certain number of lines in one post)

I am going to try to talk NJ into waiving child support. She probably won't go for it. I am almost scared to admit it on this board, but I am actually considering telling her that if I have to pay CS that I won't be able to afford to help with SD anymore.

My fear is that she will call my bluff. But I don't know how she could. She works almost everynight and every weekend that the kids are with me. She has no friends or family nearby to help, so in alot of ways she depends on me for SD11.

What do you guys think?

I know that I should probably just let it go, and be gratefull that SD is still in my life. But it p*sses me off.

[hoosier_dad]

None of the mitigating factors you listed sound like a legal argument for the judge to go with a lower CS amount. I think you need to quickly do a cost/risk analysis because IMO it sounds like you are throwing away legal fees on an outcome that is pretty assured.

[Fatheroffour]

I understand your thinking. However, you do it for the SD because you love her and want to. Her expenses shouldn't really enter into your calculations on the other child.

If mom were upstanding and going to do the right thing she should be agreeable to just call it even steven and move on.

[capslock]

...

[AlmostSingle]

Hoosier, I don't have a legal argument. The courts don't care about SD. I'm hoping to negotiate with the ex.

FOF, If Mom was upstanding there is a chance that I would have never even had to come to these forums. But thats not the case.

Capslock, She IS taking me back to court. We have a date next week.

Sorry if the post was a little confussing. Sometimes it's hard to keep a steady train of thought while I'm poisting at work.

Like I said before, the money isn't that big of a deal. I'm struggling some, but I can find $120/m if I need to. It's the principle of it all that gets to me.

Throughout most of our marriage, I pushed NJ to get a career rather than a minimum wage job in retail, especially through some of the tougher financial times. I would come home ot hear about how there are no jobs out there and she can't find anything. But when I check the computer history, there is 4 hours of facebook and no monster.com or other such sites. Meanwhile, I am working my butt off, struggling to pay bills (including her student loan) and support SD, with no CS from her bio dad.
Now, she only works 25-30 hours a week, still at the same retail job, and gets all sorts of government hand outs. I work 50+ hours a week, I make to much to qualify for anything, but not enough to live without daily financial worries. I pay out over $400/m for childcare, almost $200/m for medical ins for D2, and provide food, shelter and mcuh much more for a child that I have no real obligation too. But yet the NJ wants more, and will probably get it.

OK Rant over. I feel better already.
And just for the record $120/m is not worth losing my time with SD.

[AlmostSingle]

I just reread my last post, and I know it sounds whiny. I know many of the guys here have had it handed to them much worse then I have, so please excuse me.

The whole system just frustrates me. Just like I get frustrated sometimes at the grocery store. Standing in line, you watch the person in front of you, with 8 kids in tow, buy $400 worth of groceries with a food stamp card. Then proceed to buy a few 12 packs and $20 worth of lottery tickets by plucking a few bills out of a wad of cash much bigger than one that I have ever had. Then you watch them drive away in an escalade with wheels on it that cost more than my whole car.

Ok I think I'm done < female dog > for today

[Fatheroffour]

White Knighting is a thankless job.

[AlmostSingle]

White Knighting is a thankless job.

Yeah, I learned my lesson with that. Captain save-a-ho is dead and gone.

What was that you said once about the black Knight get the cash
and the gash?

[AlmostSingle]

Went to hearing today. The magistrate ordered that th cs order for her to pay me be vacated. Which is fine, I'm just going to have to Pay it back anyway. I asked that cs be recalculated. The magistrate referred us back to mediation.

I'm interested to see if my atty will stand up to his mistake as promised.