Just lost control with my STBX

[needluck]

So, I just got out of jail for being two weeks late on a $500 support payment (long story). At the exchange for the kids my STBX showed up an hour late with some black dude. I went a little nuts and called him some choice names, most of which were racial.

I actually do not care about him being black I just wanted to fight him. He stayed in the car, but I am sure my STBX recorded it. I told him if he touched my kids I would 'kill his N---- < hindquarters >.' That is what really worries me right now. I have heard that saying that can be considered a serious offence. Just wondering what I should do next.

As far as the divorce it is bad, but it is also literally the first time a really blew my top. I am generally sorry, and I am considering sending her an apology text. I won't because I am certain that the apology would most likely be some sort of legal admission.

I got into fights when I was younger, but for most of my adult life I have been a peaceful person who rarely looses his temper, so you know that I was mad.

Any advice?

[needluck]

Seriously how long before the police come and lock me up for awhile again?

[Fatheroffour]

Do nothing. Admit nothing.

No one is coming to lock you up for calling some black guy a nagger. They call each other that all the time. Even make music about it.

Get your head on straight and knock off the stupid stuff and hope she didn't record it.

Again. Admit nothing and in the unlikely event someone does come to you to talk to you about it........don't talk to them about it.

[needluck]

Thanks fatheroffour. You have been a real support network for me

[Fatheroffour]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SwKO3XOu ... re=related

[capslock]

FOF is right for sure. Admit nothing.

Only if it comes up in court one day you can say he was staring or gesturing at you in a threatening manner.

LOL FOF. I think OP was referring to being in trouble for threatening to kill someone not saying the N word.

Needluck- What are you doing dude? What is it that is making you sabotage yourself? I think last week an article was on the homepage of this website. I read another on yahoo the same week. They were titled the 5 things men do to sabotage themselves during temporary orders (something like that).
You just did 2 of the 5.
Not paying child support and showing anger.
It takes more than 2 weeks to be sent to jail for child support arrears.

Yelling at your wife is pure gold for her. Yelling in front of your kids is just silly. I bet your orders say if she wants she can send a responsible adult to pick up the kids for her. What are you going to do if she sends that guy solo next time?
Don't defeat yourself.

Love your kids more than you hate your ex. Even if you are upset, don't hurt them by letting it show.

[Fatheroffour]

Here is the article Caps is referring to. You should review it as part of your dadsdivorce recertification class.

http://www.dadsdivorce.com/component/co ... ody-battle

LOL FOF. I think OP was referring to being in trouble for threatening to kill someone not saying the N word.

It would be almost the same answer. They are not going to lock you up for threatening to kill someone if they <insert activity you disagree with>. Even if you call them a nagger. They do that all the time and even make music about it. But again, not smart. Never mention it again.


I can see how you're upset. Jail for being 2 weeks late on a payment? That is jacked but it wasn't the poor scared black guys fault. If you're going to grenade yourself, go see the judge and leave the ex's Rainbow Dating Coalition alone.

[needluck]

Not paying child support and showing anger.
It takes more than 2 weeks to be sent to jail for child support arrears.

You would think. I was due to make a payment to her March 12. Her lawyer stated that we had agreed to it at some point and time. We did not. We did have an agreement that they would drop contempt charges when I missed my first support payment. My original support was made based on 'potential earnings' and not actual. I could not afford that.

We had a settlement in place that states that they would drop the contempt charges. I left town and they showed up at court rather than dropping the charges. They made up all kinds of stuff. We have been in and out of courts for months getting that straight. Somehow it got missed that the judge ordered me to pay $500 on March 12 on top of my normal payment or go to jail. On April 1 the judge sent the sheriff to our meeting place where we exchange the kids. The sheriff did not even understand all of the orders in the case and let me go.

My lawyer is out of the country, but her assistant called the courthouse and they told me I still owe $500 from March 12 and I need to o pay it. They said that they would not arrest me if I paid it. I showed up with a check, credit card, and debit card. The sheriff told me that those are not acceptable forms of payment and handcuffed me. I asked if I could go to the bank and get cash which I was told 'no, we are not letting you go again.' I was then incarcerated for an extra day after the payment was made in cash because the sheriff and judge needed to make sure it was safe to let me go. Meaning they wanted to see if I owed any other back child support. So, I got an extra day just to be safe.

Seriously, I am convinced that God hates me. So, yes I literally went to jail for being 2 weeks late on an extra $500 child support payment. I was and am current on all other payments. I still do not know if I owe her more money at random dates. Neither does anyone else other than her lawyer. Thus far the judge has simply rubber stamped everything that her lawyer has asked for. I am running through my own lawyers like no tomorrow with little luck (on the third).

We have had DFACS workers complain to the judge that they are concerned about my kids safety with my STBX and the judge still rules against me at every turn. Everybody just keeps telling me to stay calm because it will all come around in the end. I am about ready to flee the country I am so frightened for my safety at this point. I have never in my life been in trouble with the law, no history of violence, good credit, and I still have police come and terrorize me at my STBX's whims.

I never knew that child support could be ruled for an amount almost double my actual salary because I 'have a master's and have added earning potential.' I had no idea that I can be ordered to pay random dollar amounts at random times without ever being informed.

[Fatheroffour]

Damn. Sorry, bro. Your frustration is understandable.