question on < parenting time > rights

[Upstate-NYer]

figured as much in regards to the child support...hate always having that over my head and the feeling of having to walk on thin ice so i don't pi$$ her off and have her use it against me....

i wouldn't say there are any issues, the ex is a good mother for the most part, i don't like the fact that she has had 2 live in boyfriends in the past 3 years, but i can't control that. i guess it's just that i wish i had more time with her than what i currently do. and i don't know if i will ever see that happen since the agreement is already in place

[Thermite]

i wouldn't say there are any issues, the ex is a good mother for the most part, i don't like the fact that she has had 2 live in boyfriends in the past 3 years, but i can't control that.

I have been divorced for about 2 years.
my gf and i (have a 10 month old son) ...and another one on the way

Not tryin' ta bust yer chops here, but I think it would be a good idea to keep any disdain for your ex's love life out of a courtroom. Don't throw stones if ya live in a glass house, and all...

[Upstate-NYer]

no i completely understand, she has her life i have mine...just want to see if i have a shot at getting more time with my daughter and getting our agreement changed....last year we met with a mediator to work on some issues....but i don't know if she would agree to more time without a judge saying so

[Bubba Seal]

Upstate from what youve posted you are playing with fire.

As others said and you realize the first thing she could do is get the CS instated.

Next you are concerned about her BFs when you have a child with a live in GF?

Your ex has got the status quo on you, she is primary, you admit she is basically a good mom, that also has a support network to help with your child, the grandparents.

Im sure you have a chance, but it will cost a lot of money and time, for some one so afraid of paying thier fair share of CS, do you really think you want to open this can of worms?

just my 2 cents

[Upstate-NYer]

thanks for the replies...i imagine i just need to cool down from her latest stunt...i have agreed with the fact that i have no say w/ her bf's as i do live w/ my gf (marriage in the near future) also, while i don't pay support, i cover 50% of all costs, i send my ex a check every month for health costs, split out of pocket, split extra curriculars, i feed and keep my daughter very well clothed, etc etc...

it just sucks to come to the realization that trying/wanting to spend more time with my daughter is a losing proposition and it sucks that it seems my ex holds all the bargaining chips.

so maybe when i hit the $476 mega millions this friday i won't have to worry about paying for a lawyer!!!

[jumbledone]

so maybe when i hit the $476 mega millions this friday i won't have to worry about paying for a lawyer!!!

And neither will she...

[Fatheroffour]

Lawyers will WIN!

[defaultuser]

I agree with the others. It sucks that she pulled this crap, but I think your best bet is to tell her how you feel:

"I was kinda disappointed and hurt to find out that you didn't let me know you were going out of town because I would have loved to spend that time with the kiddo, or even split some with your parents. In the future, I'd really appreciate it if I got to see our daughter more if you're out of town or anytime. I'm glad she had a good time with your parents."

And leave it to that. You've got close to 50/50 and aren't paying child support. Count your blessings.

Just as she can go modify child support at any time, you can not modify custody without there being a 'significant and continuing change of circumstances' and 2 years post divorce without major problems will basically mean you can't modify now.

When your kid turns 12 or 13 and wants to be with you more, then you might consider court. For now, be nice to the mother and do what you can to keep the peace and avoid conflict.

[TXex's]

I would tend to agree that seeking every other Friday from school until Monday at school in addition to your current weeknight schedule is a step in the right direction but yes you are likely to open the door to child support. With that said, the million dollar question is are you willing to have that door opened to be a more involved parent?

Another thing to consider is to evaluate where you stand for legal-custody / decision making. By the way, you don't have < parenting time > unless you are in prison... You have physical possession of your child. Remember the fact that you and mom didn't get along has nothing to do with your rights to be your child's equal parent.