Heading for divorce need advice

[last_time]

I don't share a computer with her. She has her own account I'm the computer administrator i was able to crack her passwords on the phone and computer that's why I brought that up.

[Fatheroffour]

Generally, that's the kind of information you want to keep to yourself and not put out on a public message board. There is a legal distinction between looking at an unprotected computer and 'cracking' a password.

[TransAm]

I feel you when you feel like her spending is causing the problems, been there myself.

She'd spend, I'd work more, she'd spend more I'd work more, then, she'd biatch that I was never home. Well, duh. Now I'm paying CS in the amount of what her bills used to be, but getting none of the vagina now.

It was like watching the water go down the commode.

Best thing you can do is get your own checking account. She can pay her bills with hers and MAKE SURE your not an "authorized user" on any of her cards.

[Trevor]

"Authorized users" have cards issued in their name but are not responsible for the charges. It's "joint cardholder" that you want to avoid. Just the same, if you are Joint or an auth user, mail back the cut up card to the bank, indicate divorce, and ask them to remove you from the acct. They may not do it, but you will have record of your card being unable to be used. Copy the letter and send it certified R3.

[Here_We_Go]

My nj's credit card was on my credit report so i called the credit card company and they told me since I was an 'Authorized users' the activity will show up on your Credit Report. One thing you might consider is calling the 3 major credit agencies and freeze your credit, I did this Friday. That way she can't open new accounts that could effect your credit. My nj spends like yours I tell her we are on a spending freeze and she buys a $1,200 purse the next day, but mine is also cheating on me, so I win.

[Here_We_Go]

More important than all that is you need to stay on this forum. It is the only way i have kept my sanity. detach from her emotionally, if you are not already. Do not count on her for anything, count on you.

[Trevor]

If any accounts appear on your CBR of which you are merely an AU, challenge that info since it does NOT reflect anything to do with your credit; it will be removed.

[last_time]

Thank you guys for all the support and advice much appreciated. The only thing we have jointly is our current checking and savings accounts. I will check my CBR to make sure she hasn't added me to this mess. If she has it would be fraudulent without my knowledge. I plan on getting my own accounts as soon as the mortgage payment clears. Is it wise of me to remove my name from the current banking accounts also? Thanks again.

[formylilgirl]

one benefit to having her off in her own little world spending your families money, is that you can do the same in preparing. reading the List will likely do it for you though. In reality though, $20K is not that much debt, so it would take a lot more than that to get primary. documentation and the list can show you WHO you need to become to make that even a possibility. I know it sounds like you made up your mind, but I have seen people come back from far worse than that. Dave Ramsey has some great stuff about getting out of debt.

[jamessick]

Dave Ramsey has some great stuff about getting out of debt.

Gonna be going to his live show soon. Got the notebooks and pens ready.