It feels like I am on a treadmill going no where!!!!

[kmich91262]

So my attorney contacted me recently via e-mail as to get me up to date on what has been going on and what she has done with it. The gist of the e-mail was to tell me that none of the mental health professionals are willing to side with my side or apparently the ex's side. The school is on my side. The attorney feels it imperative that to have a good chance of a positive outcome in court we need a mental health professional on my side on top of the school.

I still think we have a good case based on the school only. I also feel as one other person pointed out to me off the forum, that what happens if S8 gets on medicine for whatever disorder and he still tells NJ no on going to school, then what. Is NJ going to blame the lack of getting to school on something else but mean while S8 is on medicine he may not need. (I know a lot of what ifs). What would you do? Would you still proceed with the case and file a motion in court asking for a change in custody (we have week on week off, NJ is the CP)?

[defaultuser]

What is the situation right now? Don't you have the kid almost all the time? If so, why not do nothing and just delay the court case while your child improves and you get status quo on your side showing success?

[kmich91262]

What is the situation right now? Don't you have the kid almost all the time? If so, why not do nothing and just delay the court case while your child improves and you get status quo on your side showing success?

I wish I had him like I did. No, the last counselor (the one IMO that fired us) wanted to gradually work in S8 with NJ on school days. With that being said, I followed what the counselor wanted because I didn't want to appear to be unreasonable and/or controlling. That worked like a lead balloon. NJ has only gotten S8 to school one day out of a possible 5 days this calendar year. This week she was to have him for the two school days that are in sessions with the balance of the week being a break, it didn't happen...ended up getting S8 to school both days as witnessed by the school.

[kmich91262]

So let me clarify what I am asking please. How could I not have a good to very good case by putting a motion before the courts asking for a change of custody based the following: since 2009 NJ has had the issues of not getting S8 to school on a consistent basis without my help (the most important part IMO), she has had the police called on S8, she has had a crisis center called into her place to help.

As far as I know, education (k-12) is very important in this nation and most of the globe. Cant see a judge saying "gee NJ that is alright, I know kmich91262 is such a mean SOB, continue doing what you've been doing."

[defaultuser]

I'm in a somewhat similar situation, except it appears your court moves much faster than mine.

The only thing I can offer is that you present evidence. I would not go into any problem your kid has, nor any problem the mother has, just present the facts with the goal that the judge would have a couple finding of facts:

1. Your kid is successful in your care.
2. Your kid is unsuccessful in your former wife's care.

Beyond that, I would do everything in my power to avoid labels. Mentally ill this, or ADD that will only complicate the issue. Just stick to the facts, present the facts, and ask the judge to put your kid in a situation where he thrives.

[kmich91262]

I'm in a somewhat similar situation, except it appears your court moves much faster than mine.

The only thing I can offer is that you present evidence. I would not go into any problem your kid has, nor any problem the mother has, just present the facts with the goal that the judge would have a couple finding of facts:

1. Your kid is successful in your care.
2. Your kid is unsuccessful in your former wife's care.

Beyond that, I would do everything in my power to avoid labels. Mentally ill this, or ADD that will only complicate the issue. Just stick to the facts, present the facts, and ask the judge to put your kid in a situation where he thrives.

Problem is NJ will be putting all sorts of labels on S8. Yeah, he may need help (as the last counselor has said) but in my unprofessional opinion I think alot of it is because NJ is being a NJ and NJ won't work together with me for the betterment of our son. Although I did get another break in the case recently. The Crisis Center is willing to initially provide a statement of what was witnessed at NJ's house and if necessary (at least what I'm reading from my attorney) is testify if necessary.

So after talking with my parents, we decided to put my attorney on the spot. I think the most important question is what is my attorney's game plan if S8 passes this grade (or the flip side if he fails for insert whatever reason). The more I'm reading in research, even if NJ is having problems getting S8 to school, if he passes it seems my case is substantially weaker however if he fails my case appears stronger. Has anybody had experience with this and can confirm if my research is correct?

[defaultuser]

I had a finding of fact that says my X's inability to get the kids to school on time (not absent, just late) was a detriment to the children's education.

My kids are honor students and I expect my D10 to get straight A's this quarter.

I think this is because I showed evidence to the court. Homework done with me, homework not done on mom's time. Good grades with me, not so good grades on mom's time. No labels, just evidence.

[babaforkids]

Good thing!

[cynicalDad]

How did u end up doing on this? Do you have a hearing for the custody scheduled? Similar thing happenned to a friend of mine and CPS got involved. There suggestion (I kid u not): dad should drive to moms house on his way to work and deliver the kids to school since mom seems to have 'issues' with ensuring they get to school on time. Course this was in the state of georgia, not a good state for dads.

[kmich91262]

Long story short, fired my attorney, went with the attorney that finished my divorce, and before I walked out of his office he had a game plan....this all happened last week. After lots of inaction by the old attorney, little to no response (and when she did reply it was sometimes a month out), I had no choice but to fire her...especially after she chastised me for what I thought we should be doing and talked down to me as if I was a child or something IMO.

Since the beginning of the calendar year, the NJ has had the crisis center to her house twice...once in January and the second time recently in May. Both times I was asked to come pick up S8. The first time NJ refused to let me have S8, who am I to argue with NJ on her property in front of the crisis center employees. The second time he was taken to the hospital and released within a couple of hours to my care. Out of spite, IMO, NJ called the school which consequently resulted S8 being kicked out of school for the rest of the school year which ended last week. I'm sure after 42 days of missing school he has failed but official word will need to come from the school. Still in the process only because of IMO a lazy attorney that thought it was her way or the highway type of thing. I'll be filing an ethics complaint against the old attorney.