Child Support and Custody order

[blackpapi2012]

Hi, my wife and i recently separated but there's no paperwork filed to make the separation legal. I wanted to try and work out child support and custody between the two of us without court involvement however, I just received a letter from her lawyer seeking full custody and child support. My question is does this seem right? We don't even have a separation agreement in place so how can she file for custody and child support so soon? In my state you have to be separated for a year before you can even file for divorce. Also she makes roughly 30k more than me. So anyway....since this order of support has been initiated I decided that I will not give her any more money until we go to court. I would appreciate any advice and feedback.

[Fatheroffour]

Are you still living in the house?

Yu should probably review the links in my signature, but the process is that a petition is filed and a temporary hearing establishes how it's going to be until the final hearing. If you have already moved out, you're toast.

[blackpapi2012]

Yes I have moved out. Actually we sold the house we were in and now we rent but under separate roofs.

[Fatheroffour]

It sounds like she has played you to get herself the best possible outcome in the divorce.

Divorce laws vary quite a bit between the states. It's important to get to know your own states laws and for others to know which state you are in to be able to give specific advice.

[blackpapi2012]

Neither one of us have filed for divorce or separation though.

[Fatheroffour]

Again, knowing the state helps with specific advice but while you can wonder about how they can be so bold to ask when nothing has been filed you can be sure that her attorney knows how to get mommy child support.

What are your goals in the divorce? Some guys just want out at any cost and are satisfied with seeing their kids every other weekend. Others will settle for nothing less than full custody regardless of how many hundreds of thousands of dollars it takes. Have you taken the time to clearly define your own to yourself?

[blackpapi2012]

I am in Maryland and I would be fine with getting my child every other weekend and for certain holidays. My only concern is being asked to pay too much in support when my wife is making 30k more than me. I believe that it's all an effort to be mean and get me back. Also I didn't think she could file for support and custody until it was time for us to file divorce or unless we were apart for at least a year. Oh well....do you think I should hire a lawyer?

Thanks for all your advice

[Fatheroffour]

Child support is pretty formulaic. Put the numbers in the state worksheet and out comes the child support obligation.

Given your stated goals, it doesn't look to me like you need an attorney. Might as well save the money.

[Chris A]

This site is not money oriented most guys here ask about custody instead of money. If all you want is the standard screw job of every other weekend you should be fine without a lawyer other then to check paperwork.

Some fathers are conditioned to think that post divorce there role in there kids life is every other weekend and as a ATM machine for the ex. We call it here falling on the sword. Your taking it to the hilt my friend!

[dadmisseskids]

I am in Maryland

Ouch.

I would be fine with getting my child every other weekend and for certain holidays.

Given your stated goals, it doesn't look to me like you need an attorney. Might as well save the money.

I agree with FOF. No point in wasting money on a lawyer when you'd get EOW and some holidays anyway.