what should I do?

[mydearchildren]

We just finalized a comprehensive PSA dealing with custody and finances. I did pretty well and have over 50% custoday and practically bought her off, keeping house, etc... She committed adultry, admitted in, I have PI evidence of it all and love letters. My attorney is saying it is up to me to either go after her to make it a fault divorce or let the clock tick for a no fault divorce. difference of about $3k assuming she does not fight it.

What should I do? I am in VA. She is not getting any alimoney but I am giving some $$ as rehabilitative support. She is still with the jerk and working for him.

thoughts? My tendency is to go after her and get the divorce done faster as my attorney seems to think we have a solid case.

Thanks

[RC211V]

Your last line makes me say you should go for it. If it is done faster it is worth it.

[Fatheroffour]

Maybe she will agree to the fault divorce so she can move on with Mr. Wonderful. It's not like anyone cares.

It was a common practice back before the day of no-fault divorce for both parties to conspire in such a way to get a quick divorce so they wouldn't have to wait as the law requires.

I believe if you can find a way to approach her in such a way that she can take some ownership in the idea you can save yourselves a lot of aggravation and legal fees.

And congratulations on the custody agreement.

[mydearchildren]

Thank you all. We seperated in late November 2011 and have been since then. I am kida casually dating someone and wonder if that will be an issue if I proceed with the adultry claim against her. Since we are not divorced, could my dating this wonderful girl be considered adultry and voids the whole thing?

[Fatheroffour]

I suggest you keep your new girlfriend behind closed doors. There is no upside to openly dating her before your divorce is done and there has been story after story of the soon to be ex flipping out and causing grief when the new GF enters the picture. At this point she can still cause lots of aggravation and run up your legal fees.

Focus on getting the divorce done first. If the new squeeze is worthwhile, she'll understand and willingly keep a low profile as she will realize it's in your own best interest.

[Thoughts?]

Get your divorce completed before you bump any uglies as that will just blow up on you.

That you want to bump uglies & move on points real clearly to the fact you need to get this over with. Mandatory separation / waiting periods unless fault can be shown are remnants of old blue laws that need to be gotten off the books.

[defaultuser]

I agree. Be careful. Just because your X is screwing the new guy doesn't mean she won't lash out in a jealous irrational rage when she finds out you've got someone new.

The standard reaction to a Dad finding someone new is to freak out. Don't let your STBX know about the new girl and keep it on the down low until you're divorced.

I'm 5 years divorced and my X still gets irate when she thinks I'm dating someone. On the other hand, when some unlucky chap hooks up with my X, I'm glad she has some kind of diversion to keep her from bothering me.

[capslock]

Take some time and focus on your kids and their adjustment instead if worrying about the new squeeze.

[jamessick]

could my dating this wonderful girl...

This here gentlemen is the definition of rose colored glasses.

[Trevor]

And "Valentine's Eyes."