Going against the decree with overnights....

[KeepingMyKids]

I know this is a topic that is pretty polarized: the "no shack up" clause that goes in many divorce decrees. Can't make someone be a good parent, etc etc..... I've mentioned before why it was included in my decree (lack of NJ good judgment, letting D6 see her lying in bed with random guy at his apartment, etc), so agree or disagree with it, it's there. My question is this: late last fall NJ and Mr. Wonderful #3 move into a high rise apartment together, for weekends I've been told that the complex has guest rooms that residents may use for short term (up to 3 nights). What should I do (if anything) about upcoming spring break and summer break? Especially since last night talking to my daughter about taking her with me to visit GF (she lives in Colorado, D9 has never been on a plane or seen mountains in person, plus she adores GF, so very happy to go), telling her we just have to work out where we will stay since "...GF and I won't be sleeping in the same place because we're not married." D9 nods, says "When we stay at Mom's, **** plays on the computer until after we go to sleep, then he goes downstairs." I *know* this is utter BS.

Opinions? I asked my lawyer about it, mentioning how it seemed courts weren't too concerned about it these days, she told me that while they weren't as concerned about it after everything is final, it is still a clause in the decree and, unless she files to modify, they'll nail her for it. "And let her use her own time and money to file to modify if that's what she wants to do." Still waiting for her to return with financial information as CS is supposed to modify beginning tomorrow for her new income plus the year of arrears she owes. Make an issue of it? Arrange a welfare check at 10 pm to get it on the record she's just ignoring the decree (as usual)? Get a hobby?

[Fatheroffour]

Why have it in there if you are not going to enforce it?

The longer you wait to enforce, the less likely a judge will do anything about it even if you have her stone cold dead to rights.

Go for it and report back.

[KeepingMyKids]

Just found out the tidbit from my daughter last night. Have a call in to the apartment building for them to fax me a copy of their guest room policies, spring break is week after next. If nothing else, it'll be another reason for a judge to keep things the way they are when NJ tries to modify custody just because she's graduated and making six figures. Because money makes it all good.