Hi and welcome to DadsDivorce, the leader in divorce help for men, fathers rights and mens rights. We provide divorced dads with concrete, practical divorce resources to achieve the best results in the courtroom.
Back again...same story...not divorcing, but facing the possibility so I'm trying to understand the consequences.
Since my wife is not a doing drugs or an alcoholic...I probably wouldn't get sole custody. (For those who don't know our marriage problems center on the fact that she's from another country and realizes that she doesn't have her extended family around her now. As a result, her "cup's always 1/2 empty.")
Now as far as maximizing my time/exposure to my kids:
1) When she's working, she's a schoolteacher. 2) I'm an executive type with the likely possiblity of working more than 40 hours a week.
QUESTION: Anyone else face this likely less than 50/50 situation? Did you change careers to make a better case for time with your kids? In my case, I'm starting to wonder if I could get a provisional license as a schoolteacher....
Kinda......for years I worked as a jouster at renaissance faires, was making decent money....but no benefits and was very seasonal, March to around October. I was doing this when she met me, we got married, after daughter was born I scaled WAYYYY back to doing maybe one show a year, a local show that I didn't have to be gone the whole time, just could drive there after my barn job on Friday afternoons and come back home on Sunday evening to be back at work the next day and help with the baby. Did this while she was going to nursing school. Plan was when she graduated that I would go back to graduate school while she worked. Of course that didn't work out (she wanted to go to nursing grad school), so I ended up going between working part time jobs and being a stay at home dad (NJ worked the overnight shift so she didn't have to deal with people; great nursing attitude.). After separation, NJ complaining to everyone that I never "did my share", "married her so I could play while she worked", etc etc. First semester after we separated I got into two year degree plan locally for paralegal studies (figured that since I was making so much of a study of the law anyway, might as well make it a career), got on at a local law firm, and will graduate this semester with already a couple of the partners here debating who I'm going to be full time legal assistant to. School full time, work 40 hours a week, taking care of D8 and S6...yep, typical shiftless bum that drives women to divorce.
"Your problem is you shook a wh0re tree and expected an angel to drop out."
Was Captain in Fire Department for 20 years in semi-large city making good money, up for promotion to pinnacle of my career, working only 10 days a month (24 hour shifts). Loving life being the boss and good at my job,
Judge acknowledged noble career but circumstances dictated I would be EOW due to shifts, overtime, etc. I was accustomed to almost 50/50 so needless to say I pretty much immediately retired to ensure my parenting time was not lost.
There was never a question on this and I found work; I just Thank God I had my time made to retire. This was just my particular situation though and all differ.
Men who fear becoming fathers dont understand that fathering is not something perfect men do but something that perfects the man. Its like an aged man reclining under the shadow of an oak he planted.