need advice, need peace of mind

[motocrossdad]

First off I am going to appologize for my spelling and punctuation. Ok a little about myself I am 23 and have a ten month old child. My wife and I have been fighting alot recently and decided it would be best to divorce. I lost my job in another town and was forced to move back home and work for my dad, which isnt bad I am just making less money. I lost my apartment and have been struggling with money, my wife has been going through a big court issue from three years ago. I suggested we try to get our finances and her court issue taken care of and our issues more than likely will work themselves out, I know there would still be some issues to work out but I believe that is most of them. So basically just saying all of that so you have an idea of the situation, but she shot the idea down and wants a divorce and now it is on bad terms. She is saying she is getting full custody and not letting me see my son unless it is my dad, which she is going to try to make as little as possible. She is also wanting me to pay child support now so she can get a new car because she doesnt trust hers. I have a clean background and am a manager at my dads company, and my wife has pending aggravated felony and two misdemeanors, she is not convicted yet just pending. My mom told me to get full custody and she will help with anything I needed but my wife is saying there is no way I could get full custody and if I get an attorney then I will have to pay for hers as well. My wife has a job that she gets paid under the table, it is not reported to the IRS. My wife lives with her dad in a double wide trailer with seven people and about five dogs that pee and poop all over the house that my son lives at and he is crawling. I live on my own and am a neat freak. Ok that is basically all in a nut shell, sorry for the novel but I was trying to give as much information as possible so you can give me a better idea on what I should do. Any advice is very appreciated.

[Bubba Seal]

Look up the list on here first, read thru it, then come back with questions.

I like your profile, I was a semi-pro vet motocrosser for about 10 years.

Good Luck, just read some threads, find the list, sorry I cant link you to it, but its on here.

[Fatheroffour]

Listen to your mom.

Hopefully your wife goes to prison. Anything you can do to help that possibility along?

[motocrossdad]

Thats awesome I have been racing motocross for about 5 years on and off. "The list" was very helpful but it didnt mention too much about if I have the upper hand if she has all these pending charges. According to the court and IRS she doesnt have a job but I have many many witnesses that know she works but gets paid under the table, so is that going to help me at all? Someone told me she will have to pay alot of back taxes. She is telling me that I will have to pay for her attorney and I would have to pay back child support? We havent even filed for divorce yet so why would I have to pay back child support? And no there is no way I can do anything to push her court stuff through cause we were not together when all of the stuff happened, so I dont know exactly what happened just word of mouth.

[Fatheroffour]

And no there is no way I can do anything to push her court stuff through cause we were not together when all of the stuff happened,

She didn't confess to you? You don't know where the smoking gun is buried? Nothing?

She is telling me that I will have to pay for her attorney and I would have to pay back child support?

She isn't a good source of information regarding divorce.

[motocrossdad]

Well she is telling me she is innocent, she is sticking to her story she told the police the third time "lying the first two times hince the two misdemeanors" she is turning into a phsyco so I am not too sure about her story anymore. The felony is pending and is up in the air if its going to go on her record or not so thats why I think it is the best time to get full custody while that stuff is still on her record. She also hasnt paid her bail bonds and hasnt been calling them like she is supposed to so I guess I possibly could let her bail bonds know where she is at, but I have a huge heart and that has got me into alot of trouble with girls alot already but I guess its a little different since I am fighting for my son.

[Fatheroffour]

Bury your huge heart. This is not the time.

With any luck she'll get her bond revoked and you can divorce her while she is in jail. Otherwise, it sounds like you'll be getting the full ride.

[Outis]

Get her communications in writing. Email is great. If she's withholding your son, or threatening to, written documentation is a good thing. That's step one.

How often are you seeing your son? Are there any temporary orders for that?

The felony could be an issue, or it could be more minor. There's a big difference between assault and say, larceny. Or embezzlement.

If the conditions at the trailer are that bad, you can always request that the police do a welfare check. Those are fun. Or CPS can go investigate. Lots of options there.

What's your ultimate goal? There's a lot about your financial situation and concerns (which are valid), but what do you ultimately want the final outcome to be?

[dobradavid]

Wait until she lies/makes false stateents re: working and then document that she has made false statements.

Are you or other persons aware of any statements she has made to you re: the oending charges?

Thats awesome I have been racing motocross for about 5 years on and off. "The list" was very helpful but it didnt mention too much about if I have the upper hand if she has all these pending charges. According to the court and IRS she doesnt have a job but I have many many witnesses that know she works but gets paid under the table, so is that going to help me at all? Someone told me she will have to pay alot of back taxes. She is telling me that I will have to pay for her attorney and I would have to pay back child support? We havent even filed for divorce yet so why would I have to pay back child support? And no there is no way I can do anything to push her court stuff through cause we were not together when all of the stuff happened, so I dont know exactly what happened just word of mouth.

[dobradavid]

You need to stop the huge heart (you are aiding a fugitive) and let them know where she is.

Get copies of every document you can - such as not paying bail and not calling in as required.