NJ called the crisis center....

[massdaddio]

She wants every weekend? I hope you don't give her that, you want some fun time with the kid. You should still try to get her and the kid in some counseling or there is going to be real problems when he gets older and bigger than she is.

[kmich91262]

Called the crisis center for what? What was the reason? Is it valid?
It seems you are implying she called the crisis center because she can't control the kid?
Is she saying your kid has a mental illness?

That is exactly correct...she can't control S8.

She wants every weekend? I hope you don't give her that, you want some fun time with the kid. You should still try to get her and the kid in some counseling or there is going to be real problems when he gets older and bigger than she is.

NJ's exact quote "Can we work on a plan that I have our son every weekend and on most of the off days at school and during the summer as well or as things get worked out or better."

Even before meeting with the attorney I want at least one weekend a month and prefer to go with how we have been going for summers in the past (which is every other week, and 3 weeks of vacation). The attorney even said that what NJ is requesting is unfair to me because that means I wouldn't be able to have a weekend to do things fun with S8. As far as the counseling part, even the attorney says something needs to be done. It isn't that I'm denying him help, just want to make sure he gets the right fit counselor or Dr.

[Jehr]

Get your filling ready and draft an offer that works for you. She's basically shown her hand that she can't handle custody and she needs you to do all of the parenting. This is time for negotiating 101. She has no position to negotiate on. I'd consider the take-it-or-leave-it approach to your offer, assuming this isn't a case where she can afford to litigate and you can't.

[kmich91262]

I've already retained the attorney. The attorney is going to basically draft it as NJ requests with a few changes. The changes such as I get at least one weekend a month (spelled out), the summer issue (going back to week on week off), and cleaning up a few things that need to be cleaned up such as the tax issue (i.e. form 8332). The attorney has a level head and wants to try the easy way first and see if NJ will sign. Otherwise the attorney has said she will take the gloves off and says I have a very good case in her opinion.

[CCR]

You are giving way to much to a parent that has shown when things get tough, they hand the kid over.

I can see it now. Expect to be the non-custodial parent on paper, pay 25% of your income in child support, but have the child 80% of the time.

And, as a non-custodial parent, you will qualify for no services. The service you will get is CSE breathing down your neck so you can pay COLA increases to your ex.

Family courts hate to take kids away or reduce time from their mommies, unless there is severe abuse or neglect.

Don't agree to anything that isn't truly 100% in the best interest of your child. It will be very difficult to make changes later.

[kmich91262]

CCR, just to make sure we are on the same page. I would get all the school weeks, I would get one or two weekends a month, we would split the summer based on week on/week off, and I would be the custodial parent (NJ would be the NCP). Maybe I'm misreading your reply.

[kmich91262]

With my attorney's blessing, a no dah thing, I took NJ up on her offer starting this past week (my normal parenting time), she would get this weekend (Friday after school and ending today), and bring him back today for the school week. NJ backed out of the deal, even though we had an e-mail agreement. So I said fine, guess it goes back to the regular court order. She is now keeping him for her week. For her sake she better hope that S8 gets to school.

[Thoughts?]

OK, you need to rewind here a bit & take it back to basics.

What in the he!! was the supposed crises again?

And what crises center? Mental health for child? Parents who can't keep child under control?

About half the direct questions you were asked in the follow-on posts you managed to ignore.

Again, what was the issue between mom & child? Not all of us have your prior posts memorized.

[kmich91262]

NJ has lost control of the house. Instead of NJ running the house it is S8 and most likely her D16 (nothing new with the daughter and no surprise if that is still the case). S8 is refusing to go to school on NJ's time. That is the short and sweet version. The long version includes IMO NJ's poisoning of S8 (NJ doesn't facilate S8 get here without a fight, caught on tape on the last time he didn't want to come over that NJ told him "My mom told me everything...you don't want me," NJ's desire now that she has found a PhD shrink that hasn't tested him but yet wants to put him on medicine to follow thru with medicine without a second opinion). Yet when S8 is with me, once he is out of NJ's claws and settles down he is fine.

[kmich91262]

Guess who is calling me to come pick up S8? Yup, thats correct the NJ. I need to touch base with attorney because I refuse to go to her house and physically get him. I still want him but am not willing to go pick him up...NJ and her family that she lives with are looking for any reason to call the cops on me IMO.