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Yeah many elementary schools cater to stay-at-home-moms, and like 30 years ago assume mom's are the primary care givers. My kid's schools did the same thing.
Welcome to reality.
The best approach? Find his/her cutust teacher, and volunteer to read once per month. Talk to the lead the lead teacher for that grade & go volunteer to read once every couple of weeks to the class. My daughter at the time (grade 4 I think) had a once a month "celebration" for kids that didn't get any demerits & for the kids who followed the rules, about 90% of her class. My answer? I made some of the best, kick butt double choc chip with Heath bar cookies, and I buried them in eight dozen.
I also would show up at lunches & get her to bring her top couple friends to the "parent table" so they could have Chick-Fil-A.
And then I showed at their end-of-school summer outside water-fest where we all got crazy & drenched, and I was their number one crazy, wild volunteer, who was the funnest dad on the playground.
Tell them on the side that when they use the term "moms" they might want to consider there's some custodial dads who are trying to help as well, and (gently) nudge them what century this is. Get over the sexism, and engage, and be their number 1 giver.
Deal, tactfully engage, and do what's best for your kids.
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Regarding the PTA, the national PTA has a lot of Dad programs and have come around regarding men.
At the local level, not so much. The schools are a female controlled place where they actively try and emasculate men. Its the first step into turning our boys into weak minded pansies (luckily good dads like you guys will counter-act this).
So, the local PTA is also very woman biased. If this bias makes it onto paper, I would write a letter to the national or state PTA and complain. This will ruffle a lot of feathers on the PTA board at school, and they will probably stop.
The charter of the PTA is to support children, not women.
You have to first learn to play Bunko to get invited to their wine and pajama parties.(uh meetings)... not going to happen.
Elementary school level is women based and most are stay at home moms. Just do the things you can as a Dad and avoid the drama, you won't win anyone over trying to rub the against the established grain.
It will change as time goes. Not the 'Mom' statements, but the teachers and staff at the school. Keep involved. Society has placed an 'honor' on the single Mom and how tough it is. However, individuals will respect a single Dad and admire him. Because of your attributes.
If you go back to court you'll get a letter like:
To whom it may concern: I'm S8's 2nd grade teacher. DMK walks on water. Is a great parent. I wish I had 20 S8's.
Signed, Teacher who is awe inspired by DMK
Divorce is a declaration of independence. It is easier to become a dad than to be one.