Some advice please

[at_my_end]

Here is my past week:

Sunday Feb 13th, 2011 went to visit my daughter and pick her up per our temporary orders. Wife refused me to leave with my daughter said she was afraid I would wreck and kill my daughter due to a minor procedure 5 days before. She threw away the clothes I bought for our daughter. While breastfeeding our daughter she called me an < patoot > and a manipulator.

Tuesday, went for my in house visit. Was refused to be handed my daughter near the door, wife had her friend there and they accused me of wanting to kidnap my daughter. They said that if I sat on the couch they would allow me to hold her. I sat on the couch and wife then called 911 where she said I "physically threatened her life" and she was scared. I left and called 911 and they said she changed her story and that this was between the lawyers now.

Thursday, went for another in house visit her friend's husband put his hand on my shoulder and said I couldn't come in for a visit because my brother wasn't allowed in the home. My wife WAS NOT there. The friend's husband then called 911 and said there was a domestic violence situation and needed their help. Cops came, refused to do anything wouldn't even file a report. We left once again without seeing my child.

Saturday, 12:00 PM to 2:00 PM in house visit and was greeted by 5 people wife wasn't there, and once again said my family wasn't allowed in the home but I was. I was scared of these 5 people as they were all there with arms folded and pissed off looks on their faces. Called the cops, once again, no report and nothing they could/would do. I even explained that our daughter was in a home with no rights. I also discovered my STBX's mom was there. My wife tried to file a restraining order on her 3 times this past year. She wasn't invited to the hospital for the birth of our child because my wife was scared to death of her, and that she had the cops called to her pulling a gun on her husband during an argument.

Saturday went back for my pickup visit from 2 to 8 and no one was there at all. Later that night, my wife shut off my phone, and tried to report the vehicle I drive stolen even though it is in the orders it is exclusively mine. I traded my paid for truck in for this "family vehicle" and my wife financed it because I'm a business owner and the interest rate was a lot lower. She has since started to call my friends and family to try to find the location of the vehicle.

My wife has never followed our orders in which we have joint managing conservatorship. She has refused to tell me the place of daycare, her doctor, and she isn't following the first refusal of situations regarding our child. She has also stolen my car seat and gave it to her friend so they can use it.

I've asked my lawyer two weeks ago to file contempt of court for other < parenting time > orders issues. I asked again a week ago. She won't or hasn't done it yet. Keeps saying, come in and talk to me.

It is important to know that on the 9th of February, my wife and I agreed to more visits and she even put in there that I could spend a night at her home twice a month so I could spend more time with our daughter. Friday the 11th we had a great visit and all was well. Two days later the 13th, she completely flips on me and now is claiming that I'm a danger to our child and refuses to allow me to see her.

I don't know what to do, and I'm really depressed and can't believe this is happening to me. She has even cut my family off as well.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. How in the world can she get away with this?

[Fatheroffour]

This story sounds familiar.

I've asked my lawyer two weeks ago to file contempt of court for other < parenting time > orders issues. I asked again a week ago. She won't or hasn't done it yet. Keeps saying, come in and talk to me.

Go talk to your attorney.

Document refusals to comply with court orders. File for contempt and modification of these stressful and conflict ridden in home visits.

Rinse and repeat.

[lohe]

What FoF said plus keep a recorder going EVERY SECOND you have contact with her.

[Lawrence]

I don't know what to do, and I'm really depressed and can't believe this is happening to me. She has even cut my family off as well.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. How in the world can she get away with this?

Speak with yoru attorney about how Wife is not following the Temporary orders. This gives you a realistic reason to ask for enhanced enforcement once you get to the judge, and it also gives you realistic reasons to seek a modified temporary orders for some other < parenting time > schedule. I can't say what that might be, you just have to be creative.

Otherwise, don't let her "friends" intimidate you. If they want to be @$$-hats with arms-folded and glaring eyes... the worst thing you can do to them (and the best thing you can do for yourself) is to totally ignore them.

You absolutely must show both NJ and everyone else that you are NOT intimidate by her manipulation tactics.

She is testing you right now to see how far you will fight her, and hoping you will back of in fear. But just remember that only you control your fear. She doesn't. Well, unless you let her. So, don't let scare you off.