Advice ex filed complaint with courts

[nick5454]

I have had custody for 7 years.

We divorced and started safe. She showed up twice. Got areested and was gone for 2 years.

then tried safe again showed once and got put in jail again.

4 years later she gets out. waits a full year and when they talk she says derogatory things like "I wish I had money and I could take you away from daddy and never see him again" So I set up a line for calling and blocked her number on the main line cause she was calling 8-10 times a day.

To make things worse my son refuses to talk to her cause shes such a loser.

So yesterday my lawyer calls me at work and says she filed a complaint with the courts that she's told me to sign up for safe and i refused.

She has never contacted me and I vaguely remembered that she has to notify me in writing to register. I haven.t been contacted my anyone until now.

I am going through tough times because I'm a cancer survivor and I spend money on doctor visits so I can't come up with a 2500 retainer for my lawyer.

Any advice would be nice. Can she actually do anything? My lawyer will be sending a letter tomorrow.

We also set up child support to be evaluated at a later date when divorced. Can I start child support without a hearing?

Any advice is appreciated....I have had joint custody for 7 years and she has never made it throiugh safe to get visits.

Nick

[Jehr]

Stupid question...what are you talking about when you keep refer to "safe?"

[nick5454]

SAFE is the victim organization that children go through when the parent is a danger to the child(drugs alcohol violence)

[Jehr]

Not quite enough background to give good advice.

Please verify this assumption...She had a violent or toubled history before you were divorced, so the judge ordered her to go through the safe program as a condition for her being able to see her kid, but she's failed to complete the program? Was there anything else that is significant in your original divorce order?

Also, to make sure I'm tracking right...she's 6 of the last 8 years in prison?

Now she is trying to force you to enroll in the safe program? What's her justification? I would try to find out exactly what she's claiming in that complaint.

That should be easy to fight. While she's been in prison for much of the last 8 years, you've had sole custody of the kid, and your kid is doing well with you, right? You have history and precedence showing that you're a good father. Make sure it's documented well, and your kids doctors, teachers, and what not all know you well so they can speak on your behalf if need be.

As far as not having money...since you already have an attorney who is familiar with your case, at least let him see what you're up against in this complaint before making any decisions to try to go without. When your kid hangs in the balance, it's worth taking some financial risks, know what I mean? So get more info on her complaint before making a call.

As far as child support...if your order says you guys have 50/50 joint, it's a long shot. You probably need to get the order modified to where you are the true primary custodian before seeking CS. I may be wrong though. Depends on how that initial order was set up. You can ask your local CSE office if they can start a review for CS and see what they say.

[nick5454]

Not quite enough background to give good advice.

Please verify this assumption...She had a violent or toubled history before you were divorced, so the judge ordered her to go through the safe program as a condition for her being able to see her kid, but she's failed to complete the program? Was there anything else that is significant in your original divorce order?
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She was forced to go through safe because of violence and drug problems. She threw a mad fit in a drunk stupor and attacked her mother. The ad litem told me to watch the kid for a week until things were decided so after I receieved him I filed for immediate custody and the divorce was finalized 5 days later.
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Also, to make sure I'm tracking right...she's 6 of the last 8 years in prison?
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Yes she's been in prison the entire time except for about 2 years. Apparently she was arrested for stealing in a dollar store attacked the manager and assulted the police officer. Released on parole then was given 2 DUI's. Wehnt back to jail for 4 years. She's recently was least in may of last year and she finally signed up for safe 2 months ago.

Now she is trying to force you to enroll in the safe program? What's her justification? I would try to find out exactly what she's claiming in that complaint.

Can I refuse to sign up without a court order?

That should be easy to fight. While she's been in prison for much of the last 8 years, you've had sole custody of the kid, and your kid is doing well with you, right? You have history and precedence showing that you're a good father. Make sure it's documented well, and your kids doctors, teachers, and what not all know you well so they can speak on your behalf if need be.

As far as not having money...since you already have an attorney who is familiar with your case, at least let him see what you're up against in this complaint before making any decisions to try to go without. When your kid hangs in the balance, it's worth taking some financial risks, know what I mean? So get more info on her complaint before making a call.

As far as child support...if your order says you guys have 50/50 joint, it's a long shot. You probably need to get the order modified to where you are the true primary custodian before seeking CS. I may be wrong though. Depends on how that initial order was set up. You can ask your local CSE office if they can start a review for CS and see what they say.

Well I was given joint custody. We talked about child support and said in 6 months we would come back. By that time I was a full time parent and could not afford it.

The court ordered my to sign up for safe after the divorce which I did. Does she need a court order to get < parenting time > set up again? It doesn't talk about each time she fails?

if you need more info let me know. This is a divorce straight out of a lifetime channel movie.

[Jehr]

I haven't heard of someone having cs left open and told to come back sometime after the divorce is over. That's odd.

If there is no court order saying you need to do the program, then you don't have to. She can't make you do anything.

As far as any cs or support issues are concerned, you need to file to get new permanent orders in place that say what you want.

[nick5454]

Ok so to file for new child support orders does that require a motion to be submitted or can I just fill out a form and file it myself?

I'm stupid on this stuff.

It's great that I can deny because my son refuses to talk to her because she says really bad stuff about my, including death threats when he talks to her.

Thanks for the help...btw

[Jehr]

She's made threats on you to your son? Can you prove it without putting your kid in a damaging position? If so, file a criminal report and seek a TRO.

[nick5454]

So if I was ordered to register for safe on the decree and she has to register a third time can I be forced to register again or can I refuse to sign up