Support adjustments and a few other things.

[cntrygrlmel]

New to forums and hope you can guide me along.
I am the new wife to a divorced father of 2 daughters. He totally got screwed in the divorce basically cause he didn't know what he was doing and also because his lawyer was worthless along with the fact that at that time he just wanted out.
We live in Alabama and are going to need a support modification at the end of the year. Oldest daughter turns 19 so no more support for her. I am assuming that they base CS on gross income. When they did this divorce he told his lawyer what he made but when she filled out her portion she only included net income and the lawyer never asked to see a check stub or anything.
She does work but I feel is underemployed. She drives a bus a refuses to do anything else. One of the reason they are divorced. I'm sure that the current CS won't drop by half because he did get a raise this year but he is already paying more than the state required amount. Should we do this adjustment through a lawyer or file on our own? I am quite capable of doing that if I have some direction.
Keep in mind that he handles medical insurance which there is no cost to him, he pays her car payment until it is paid off and then it is given to her, he also has to pay insurance on her with the car cause she is the driver, she has to pay no rent and was allowed to live in the house until youngest child turned 25. What a load of crap. He doesn't even own the house, his dad does.
With that all being said, should we file modification before or after oldest child's birthday? It is the last day of Dec. Support orders actually state that child support is to be paid until the oldest child turns 19 which means come Jan. we don't really have to write a check but common sense tells me it just means to go back to court to revise it at that time. Are we allowed to bring up anything else at that time?
I would like it changed that she has to vacate the property when the child turns 19 instead of 25. Don't know how a judge can write it so that she can live in property solely owned by someone else. Also she keeps no court ordered communication. Only contacts when she wants something. Oldest child left 2 weeks ago for college and no one told us anything. They rarely visit. Also it was declared that she get half of his income tax return. Wasn't a problem last year cause it was his return but the upcoming year it will be my return also and I don't want her privy to my info nor should she get half of any income that is my portion. I think I fixed that problem however cause when I found out about that, I changed with holdings at work so we get the money back each paycheck instead of a return amount. I would rather pay taxes than to give it to her.
Thanks for any insight you all can give to me.

[cntrygrlmel]

I think that I failed to mention that she comes from a family of irresponsible people. Its all about what she can get for free. My father in law bought the oldest daughter a truck last year as he has done for each grandchild but because she wasn't 19 it is titled in her mom's name. Husband wanted no part of it. Father in law also has to pay insurance in the ex because it is titled in her name. He agreed to this for 6 months but now it is time to pay and she won't give him anything.
So we pay car insurance for her and so does my father in law. She pays for cable, cell phone, water and internet and that's it but to hear her tell it, she is broke and never has any money. She also told my mother in law that she gets $800 in food stamps a month!!! For 3 people? That's crazy. I'm pretty sure she lied cause when she filed for them her oldest daughter(not my husband's) and her 2 children lived with her but have since moved so now there is only her and the youngest in the house. You should see it. She won't cut the grass or trim the bushes or do any up keep at all. Weeds are almost as tall as the house. You would think getting free rent that she would at least take care of the place.
Told father in law that since it was his place that he should make her move but he is hesitant because of the granddaughter. Also told him to make her pay rent if for nothing more than so he can get someone to cut the yard. He lets it go until he can't stand it then he does it which is not his place and he is 75 yrs old and shouldn't be doing it. Mother in law mentioned that my husband should go do it because it will be his when they die but I had a come apart. She can cut her own freaking grass.
I have an ex myself and we have a great relationship and always have. He will tell anyone that I am the best ex wife ever. No kidding. Men get screwed to no end in a divorce and there is no reason for it. Its just greed and in this case its greed and laziness and the attitude that someone else should take care of her.
Thanks for letting me vent.

[Fatheroffour]

It would be a much more streamlined process if dad were here asking the questions.

[cntrygrlmel]

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend by doing so myself. Not sure the difference as to who asks. I was just reading the forums and thought someone would have suggestions.

[hanzblinx]

In all the states I know, dropping from 2 to 1 children wont reduce CS by 50%. More like 20% depending on the state. Definitely worth the effort, just don't expect it to be cut in half.

I would assume you could file before her birthday and just note the upcoming emancipation date.

Also, all those stories about his ex are of no interest to anyone. CS is based on a formula not personal anecdotes.

[CCR]

In my state, CS drops 17% from 2 children to 1. Plus his income has gone up. Many folks end up paying more when they get CS adjusted.

As for the rest of what you wrote, none if it is part of the CS formula. The state doesn't care if she bought 5 cases of Jack Danials and a case of condoms with CS, as long as the child has a roof and few crackers to eat.

[chereeda]

OP,

I really don't mean this as snarky as it's going to sound, but from one second wife to another, you need a new hobby...

donna

[Chris A]

Great read lol. Best insight though will come from your hubby posting questions here.

[cntrygrlmel]

Sorry I asked. Was just looking for insight. Ending up venting and I apologize for that. I do not however understand why it is so important that he be the one to post.
And yes the comment may not have been meant the way it sounded but yes it did come across as snarky. I do have many hobbies but problems as well with these being the biggest that we are trying to deal with. It is not only the man that must deal with the ex but the new wife as well. I came here for some possible help not to be put down. I will move on and ask for my help elsewhere. I'm sorry I took up your time and mine. Thanks for the bit of info I did receive.

[Trevor]

I do not however understand why it is so important that he be the one to post.

1. Because he knows the whole story; you may not. Like it or not, there's nuance and history and stuff he may not have shared with you, virtuous and perfect as your love may be.

2. You are not part of the court case. They're not your kids.

3. If a father isn't the one taking the lead in handling his own business, observers have a right to make reasonable conclusions based on that evidence.

4. Part of that evidence is your defensive reaction and taking your football and going home, rather than getting his butt to the forums himself.

This one's run its course.