WA state, equal paychecks, kids and house.

[tomahawk]

-We are both professionals and make the same $$.
-Our house in underwater.
-2 young kids

This relationship is going south. I want to get my ducks in a row. I need to create a better, more loving life for my kids. Eliminating her negative energy will help.

My fear is the court will award "the wife" the underwater house, kids and I'll have to pay.

My hope is we agree to short sell, split custody of kids and debt and get on with our lives.

If we make the same money and she wants to stay in the house, would I have to pay?
What if the house +50% custody is too much to handle? Would the judge rule the overburdening house should be sold?

Anyone in similar situation (in WA state) and what do you recommend?

[Fatheroffour]

You should review the links in my signature for starters.

Fortunately you have the time to contemplate your goals and build your case accordingly. Until then, don't discuss divorce or tip your hand to your wife.

"Hope" isn't likely to do much for you so prepare to win.

[Here_We_Go]

How old is the child?, and how long have you been married?

nj and i make about the same
no cs
50/50 custody
60/40 debt
50/50 retirement
house is hopefully break even.

not sure how the short sale would work. but I live in my house and nj moved out it is on the market. I have cut expenses to the bone and can barely afford. she is helping with the mort. temporarily 6 mos. I like this arrangement.
I would suggest you start to get the house ready for sale while your incomes are commingled paint the front door etc. I would also try to pay down debt. Most importantly i would decide if things are salvageable. maybe you just need to change your relationship with her.