they just emptied my bank account

[walklikeaman]

will leave you "men" be then.

[Fatheroffour]

Good. Go "bltch" somewhere else.

[stretchkr]

I have more custody of the kids but pay child support. any one ever heard of this.

Should have asked this, and left the < edited > about your ex out of it. This was a rant post.

[BubbaGumpShrimp]

im shocked you guys want to clone this judge and see both men and women get screwed. Why wouldn't you want someone that is more fair to all. And I am grateful I have my kids one whole day more every two weeks than he, but otherwise I am left with nothing, will have no place to live and debt until I die. I'm not sure this is what maintenance and CS were intended to do. man or woman, the system is flawed.

That sucks....and I feel for you (really)...but that's what happens to the average guy that gets divorced. Yeah...it would be GREAT if the system were fair, but it isn't...and never will be.

There are plenty of states that still treat males in the divorce as if it were 1950. Women can get protective orders at the drop of a hat. Men? "Hey...call the police if she shows up" (that from the magistrate). Yeah...it's frustrating as hell.

In my case, I was married less than a year when I separated. I had to flee dodge (yes...I accurately use the word flee), because if I'd stayed...she would have hit me with false DV charges to get me out of the house. MY HOUSE...mind you.

I'm working with a lawyer at the moment (about to hire another one) to figure out how I'm going to get her out of MY house. Has she been awarded anything? No. However, she's effectively taking a chunk of my net pay by way of me paying for the house, all of the utilities, etc.

Your case is definitely not the norm, however...that scenario (the lopsided judgment) plays out on a regular basis

Edit: Walk Like a Man. lol. That really is the perfect divorce theme song (the lyrics are appropriate).

[BubbaGumpShrimp]

Some of these types of posts seem trollish to me sometimes...

I like going to mom forums and complain about my kids mom and the burdens of picking up her slack. It gets the natives dancing around the fire real quick and its all in good fun.

Lol. I bet that goes over about as well as the battered husbands that try to show up to a domestic abuse shelter.

[walklikeaman]

to bubbagumpshrimp-- thanks. hope it works out for you and you get your house back. one year should be an automatic annulment- everyone goes back to how they were.

[BubbaGumpShrimp]

to bubbagumpshrimp-- thanks. hope it works out for you and you get your house back. one year should be an automatic annulment- everyone goes back to how they were.

Thank you. Unfortunately...not in VA. You can only get an annulment in a hanful of cases (i.e. fraud, unknown felony conviction, etc.). I've got to go through the same process as someone that was married for years. The good thing is that as there are no kids "of the marriage," it's a six month separation instead of 12 months.

There shouldn't be any support paid out. I'm crossing my fingers on that one. We both make good money. If she didn't, I'd likely be hosed.

[Anything4Her]

Walklikeaman,
We hear your story with the genders flipped daily, but usually there are false domestic violence accusations, restraining orders and parental alienation mixed into the tale. The snarky reactions you are getting from the guys here is due to their lingering, justified resentment at the way they are being treated by the same court system.

Don't take it too personally.

And no, there isn't much you can do about it. You mentioned leaving your high paying job. If you do that, the court will impute your income to the previous levels and you will be responsible to pay more than 100% of your income. You are destined to be an alimony/child support slave for the foreseeable future.

Question: Who wanted the divorce? Why?

[dobradavid]

Just a note:

The days and weekends I'm with my kids are the best - and the hardest - days of my week.

I have worked hard to get what I have. never taken hand outs or expected anything from anyone. I think everyone should do the same, man or woman. why should anyone get money they didn't work for. my ex didn't clean the house, take care of kids or do anything, he was NOT a stay at home mom. and even if he had been, he should be lucky he got to stay home with kids some while i worked. he should be paying me for that time with the kids that no one can take back. i sort of don't mean that because i don't want anything from him. I work for myself and my children, not for a parasite who wasn't a good husband. I do feel for you men for having been suffering this incomprehensible injustice for years. maybe i should go to law school next

[walklikeaman]

Question: Who wanted the divorce? Why?[/quote]

i asked for the divorce. my stay at home mom friends, clean the house, make dinner, take care of kids, whatever. Mine didn't do that. he didn't even mow the yard. I was working hard at work and at home without any help. He wasn't even supportive of my job which paid for everything. He played xbox and watched tv. I needed out.