Proved she lied on petition for Pendente Lite?

[1FoUrtheGuDGuYs]

hey guys, forgive me if this was covered before. Im currently in the young stages of a divorce. Not much assets (1 Car already paying for it) Married for 5 years but only lived together for 3. She left the marital home to live the "Jersey Shore" Lifestyle. During those 2 years, she was self supportive, didnt ask me for a dime. We have 1 beautiful daughter in which im fighting for full custody. She was arrested for child neglect of her other daughter (before our marriage) while our daughter was living with paternal grand mother (my mother) while I worked on my transfer back to New York to have daughter live with me. Anyhow, I made the mistake and thought with my heart first and instead of filing for divorce, I went to family court and petitioned for full custody. In retribution, she had me served with divorce papers on our 1st family court hearing, resulting in my family court suit being dismissed. Now im the defendant and shes the plaintif crying a battered woman story. Now for the juicy stuff:

She filed a motion for pendente lite relief of alimoney, child support, custody. My lawyer was a lazy POS and did nothing but sit back and waited for his handout of money. She lied about her basic monthly expenses, lied about collecting welfare for those 2 years (mind you I gave her 700 per month by check w/o a court order) to cover my < hindquarters >..ets. her attorney over exagerrated my actual income and since my lawyer didnt do a thing, she won and now im ordered to pay pendente lite, alimoney, pendente lite child support @ a reduced rate since we share our daughter half the month. A law guardian was appointed to determine custody and it will be decided on July 16th.

Because I cant afford to pay these monies, I fired my attorney, and now am pro se in this matter. I was able to get a judge to grant my motion to re-argue the pendente lite decision based on the evidence I presented in my motion proving our daughter hasnt lived with her in the past 2 years, proving my income figures were off, and the fact that she fraudulantly falsified statements on her original motion for relief.

On her affidavit in reply, she finally omitted to receiving welfare benefites for 2 children because accoring to her words, I was only giving her $700 per month lol. therefore not only proving that she committed welfare fraud, but her income was substantially more than the 24000 she claimed to only earn. ALSO, that her claim of $450 per month in groceries as a monthly expense was false since she was receiving food stamps. also was able to prove her sad violin story of having to be forced to move into her sisters home since she couldnt afford rent and owing her old complex 3000 was also false. The < lunkhead > as evidence submitted a copy of the moneis in arrears with the complex and I called the the number on her statement and sure enough was able to get a copy of why she owed the complex 3000. when she moved out, she didnt break her lease and fraudulantly has a friend move in and take over rent and she moved to sisters home. The friend was caught when she stopped paying rent and the Sheriff was called to evict her. When the complex super walked in, he found 3000 worth of damage to the apartment thus she owes 3000. Not because of her original story.

I have more that I proved to be false but just on the points I touched, What do you guys think will happen? Im waiting on a decision from the judge so just wondering? I hope is soon because "Satans love Childs" attorney filed a notice of enforcement to garnish my wages in 10 days. What can I do to stop that? Again, opinions on my first question also. Thanks guys, Keep up the fight!

[Fatheroffour]

Judges like to give custody, alimony and child support to moms. I would question whether the fact that she lied will be enough to change the temporary orders.

Have you run the numbers according to the state CS calculator to see if the amount will change even if you prove all her lies? It's possible that the judge might change the alimony amount is he takes a notion to but I'm guessing the white knight in him/her likely wont.

How long have the temp orders been in effect?


The child was living with your mother, correct? What is the custody situation now?

[1FoUrtheGuDGuYs]

Thanks for your input, The judge ordered we share her alternating weeks pending the custody determination in July. My arguement all along has been the fact that she doesnt need temporary alimoney as she over exagerated her expenses and never showed proof. I was also able to prove she lied about 90% of her expenses thru actual paper evidence. I was also able to get a FB Profile pic in which she proudly has pics of herself drunk and reckless at home and describes one of languages spoken is "Drunk and Gibberish" to prove that on top of being arrested for child neglect, she's just not fit for custody of our daughter since she doesnt have a concrete parenting plan.

Again, thru her own sworn affidavit words, she finally admitted to collecting welfare benefits while collecting $700 per month for our daugter. Contradicting her original words of mt not providing support for our daughter, and commiting welfare fraud. Also, she lied about making car payments in her statement of networth, as a monthly expense and I was able to submit as evidence bank records and statements for the car showing she has never paid for the car.

Currently, after taxes my take home is about 50,000 and the judge ordered me to pay 1,759 in temp alimoney and 300 in CS. Also 3,000 for her attorney fees. I need to stop this becuase I will be royally screwed. Especially, since I have our daughter for half the month. Im in New York btw.

[1FoUrtheGuDGuYs]

Also, on my re-arguement motion, I submitted as evidence, two text messages from her saying our daughter lives with me and a police report from the evening she tried to forcefully take our daughter out of my home and the officer stated on the report " the child of marriage was residing @ party 1's (me) home ". Contradicting her saying our daughter lived with her.

[BartSimpson]

From what you describe, you lack admissible evidence to prove your case - if you even have a case. And I see a series of blunders here that will only be made horribly worse if you continue Pro Se. You are quibbling over minutiae that the court will not be interested in, and opposing counsel will assure never sees the light of day. Have you ever seen someone try out for American Idol who absolutely can't sing - everybody knows it but the singer? That's you practicing law in a Courtroom.

For example, Facebook postings are not evidence. Rather, such utterances are just hearsay and not proof that something actually existed - a simple denial ends any argument that she was "drunk and gibberish" unless you have witnesses or independent confirmation.

She called your bluff. You thought that you could torque her back into alignment with some "filing for custody" (how do you do that while still married?); You threw a hand grenade at her - she just pulled the pin and threw it back.

Are you interested in a different strategy - or have you settled on this one?

[Fatheroffour]

On social media:

Here's alink to a blog hawking some software to help authenticate the stuff. I include it strictly for the info and in no way endorse the product. There are other products that do the same and you may be able to do it on your own if you're geeky enough.

Authentication of Social Media Evidence at law.com was another good read.

Technology: Authenticating social media posts from insidecounsel.com

From americanbar.org is a good article discussing judicial skepticism of social media and how to lay a proper foundation for authentication.




It's not quite as simple as printing out a web page and using it to "Prove" someone lied.

[kangaroocourt]

The facebook thing is useless. Her lieing about expenses, probably useless.
BUT the custody thing, if the kid is with you...that's not useless, that's huge! Especially if you can prove it over a long period of time.

[1FoUrtheGuDGuYs]

Well I am open to suggestions on approach. To be honest, Im not trying to win anything, afterall no one wins in a divorce. However, my goal is to at least try and level the playing field and have the pendente alimoney either reduced or denied. Just so I can actually workout a settlement with her because shes all about the money. Thanks for your honest opinion though. It just sucks being in this situation because I cant seem to find a good attorney who really cares and fights. After my experience with my prior attorney, its hard to trust any other one.

[BartSimpson]

So the first question - which is not that hard if you focus your answer into a single sentence - is what are your goals for custody?

[Fatheroffour]

afterall no one wins in a divorce.

This is false and grooming yourself to , um, not win.

There certainly are winners and losers in divorce and you will absolutely know if you've won or lost when you exit the courtroom.