NJ filed Contempt Charges

[abcooper]

Pre-trial has been scheduled for mid-Feb. Temporary hearing was last September.

Temporary ordered me to pay 80% of the kids uninsured medical expenses she pays, her to pay 20% of the kids uninsured medical expenses I pay. (80/20 split is for income differential) Both children have significant ongoing expenses.

No problem, most of their supplies are connected to my CC's, she makes co-pays at doctors visits, we both pay co-pays for prescriptions for the boys.

I've invoiced her every month, religiously with explanation of benefits, date of service and receipts.

Here's where it gets nutty.

Her first invoice to me was sent at end of November. She demanded payment by mid-December and it was $450. Her first invoice stated I was late on September and October. There were no explanations or receipts, just the invoice. When I asked what the expenses were she got belligerent. I said until I see an itemization of the expenses, I would not pay. After a week, she came back with an explanation. On this list were the following:
$150 for one of the boys counselors to settle a dispute on how to handle a parenting situation
$38 for parking and lunch at the doctor's office
$28 for probiotics

I said I was not paying for these (after checking with my lawyer who said there is no requirement to pay that stuff).

NJ again demanded payment by the 16th of December. I deducted the bogus expenses and took the difference of 80% of her expenses and 20% of mine, which ended up being $20 and sent her a check. A week later, she files contempt on Dec 23rd with pre-trial just over a month away and exactly one month after she sent her first invoice.

Turns out after December's medical expenses, she's going to owe me money. I have explanations and receipts for everything. I know what she spends on the boys for medical as I see it through the insurance claims. It is a very clear picture here.

There must be a contempt hearing at this point (lawyer said it has to happen now that they filed, even if the withdraw). So now, we're going to court mid Jan. We are filing cross-contempt now as she has many orders she failed to comply with and since there is going to be a hearing, we're throwing everything in with backing evidence.

[hoosier_dad]

Don't forget to ask for attorney fees.

Also in the future steer away from reimbursing your ex for medical expenses where possible, just pay your share of the bill directly to the source based on the info they provide, not based on a list of charges from your ex. This should also account for the actual charge after the EOB is processed, which will often include write off charges.

[defaultuser]

If you do pay your X directly, send the check by registered mail, return receipt requested, so you can prove you sent it to her.

She can just not cash the check, and you'll be hurting.

[abcooper]

We're definitely asking for legal, as well as my time. She's come asking the court for reparations with frivolity and unclean hands.

Also, I'll definitely start using registered mail for any payments made by check that way. You're right, she has not cashed it, but given the difference is only $20, I hope that in this case, the judge will be more upset that this ridiculous motion was filed over such a small difference and by the time the hearing occurs, she will be owing me medical expenses.

[beenthere]

Keep in mind that if either of you are under an order to pay something, you have to pay it. Even if NJ owes you 100 and you owe her 100, if she takes you to court, you could still be found in contempt. If you took her to court, same thing. A really understanding judge (are there any?) MIGHT say it's a wash. But to be in compliance with the law, pay what you owe and sue her for what she doesn't pay.

[kmich91262]

If you do pay your X directly, send the check by registered mail, return receipt requested, so you can prove you sent it to her.

She can just not cash the check, and you'll be hurting.

To build on default's response, I suggest using a third party paying system. So for example I use my bank's bill pay system, I indicate on each payment what it is for (i.e. reimbursement for mm/dd/yy medical appointment), they cut her a check, they mail it directly to her, and there is a record showing with my bank what was done. At least with an independent third party paying, they have no incentive to lie for either party, and there is a record of the who, what, when, and where.