Alimony trial results. I got screwed.

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Alimony trial results. I got screwed.

Postby faded » Tue Oct 16, 2007 10:25 am

Divorce final April 07.
Alimony trial results Oct 2007
Three kids. youngest is 5yrs old
50/50 custody
ex has a health issue / claims 100% disability
My income = $4800 monthly
Ordered to pay $2k per month in indefinite alimony.
Ordered to pay a resultant $28,000 alimony arrearage at $280 per month
Ordered to pay $355 per month in CS
I'm responsible for all medical and dental for the kids.

So...$4800 less 2635 = 2165.

My mortgage is more then that.
I'm 1 payment away from foreclosure.
All retirement monies spent.
Owe 13k to the IRS.
Bankruptcy filed two years ago. No credit cards.

Ex moved out to live with her lesbian gf. Both appeared at trial and told a stack of lies. Claimed to be roommates. I was under represented. My attorney didn't have a clue what to ask or how to question them. Now my atty wants a 2k retainer to file a motion of reconsideration. What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to take care of three kids on that?

help.
faded.
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Postby madalex » Tue Oct 16, 2007 11:01 am

While this is small solace, alimony is tax deductible, so the actual "cost" to you of the $2,000/month shuld be less than that. If you are in the 15% tax bracket, each $2,000 paid should reduce your taxes by $300.

Not sure if this applies to the alimony arrearage you have to pay. It should, but the tax laws are funny sometimes.
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Postby Luv My Kids » Tue Oct 16, 2007 11:34 am

I think a PI would be helpful in this situation. Pics of kissing and holding hands, going to gay clubs, etc. Also, is the disability legit? Insurance companies use PI's all the time to prove disability fraud.

These would be porof that they are more than friends.

I would line up my ducks before wasting $$ on an attorney. Maybe switch council if the last one was in over his head. The burden of proof will be extreme on reconsideration before the court.

Sorry, Bro. At least you have the kids.............and remember, money can't buy love!!
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Postby LOBO3315a » Tue Oct 16, 2007 11:42 am

Luv My Kids wrote:I think a PI would be helpful in this situation. Pics of kissing and holding hands, going to gay clubs, etc. Also, is the disability legit? Insurance companies use PI's all the time to prove disability fraud.


Unless they ladies decide to get "Married", I'm fairly certain that the sexual preference of his X doesn't matter. Barking up the wrong tree, here.
The disability fraud might be a good angle to cover, however.
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Postby Thoughts? » Tue Oct 16, 2007 12:28 pm

The disability issue is the best thing to chase. Regrettably, health issues & disability are major exceptions in many alimony statutes. Even in TX, where it's difficult to get, disability triggers exceptions. Guys, beware, and make sure you have any doc you can get on her state of health & history filed away someplace safe.
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screwed...

Postby faded » Tue Oct 16, 2007 1:09 pm

Point of note: the judge set this forth in an "order." I don't have a clue what he's basing this on. The Memorandum Opinion is "to be filed hereafter." Are my options only this:

1. File a motion of reconsideration based on what?
2. Get a PI to document their "more then room mates" relationship...I felt that during the trial that the lesbianism was irrelevant. What was relevant was the fact that she left the marriage to pursue a committed relationship.

All I have left after that is get fired from my job, walk away from the equity in my house, and leave my children with her. Please help me here guys. I'm really stuck. Isn't there something in the constitution about an unfettered right to earn a living and keep the product of ones labor?
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Postby Aelfric » Tue Oct 16, 2007 4:26 pm

Isn't there something in the constitution about an unfettered right to earn a living and keep the product of ones labor?


Not in Family Court, there isn't. In fact, not only is there not a right to keep what you earn - you are be COMPELLED to pay, regardless of your actual income. (Well, not totally regardless - if your income goes up, you're supposed to pay more, but if it goes down, that's your own tough luck - you're supposed to find a job that pays more, not less.) You become an indentured servant to the ex in all but legal name.

1. Sell the house. It's hard, I know. You have to make your income cover two households' bills. You can't do that with the mortgage payment.
2. Live in a cheap apartment, whatever you can afford. The kids might have to sleep on the floor, or maybe you can find a cheap used pull-out couch. You might even have to bum room and couch space off relatives.
3. Tell her insurance company about her fraud. If it is at all legally possible, you must cut her off from the gravy train. The insurance company doesn't want to pay her to sit around and avoid work, any more than you want to.
4. Keep it in court. That's your only real hope to get anything changed. (Document - Litigate - Repeat)
5. If your choices are paying alimony or paying your bills, pay your bills. Living on the street won't help you any. Let her sue you for the back alimony. But continue to pay your court-ordered child support, and pay child support through the courts, NOT directly to her.
6. If the divorce is final, then the fact that she left you for someone else becomes irrelevant.
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Postby TeflonDad » Tue Oct 16, 2007 10:06 pm

Aelfric wrote:5. If your choices are paying alimony or paying your bills, pay your bills. Living on the street won't help you any. Let her sue you for the back alimony. But continue to pay your court-ordered child support, and pay child support through the courts, NOT directly to her.


Living on the street won't help your kids any either. She has a new partner she can suck dry, and as an adult, can fend for herself. Your kids can't.

Pay your bills, pay your CS, and for the X, too bad, so sad. No soup for you!

With 50/50 custody, you should be arguing to reduce your CS, since you're providing for the kids 50% of the time. I don't know about you, but my landlord and now my mortgage lender don't give me a discount on the kids rooms for the half of the month they don't live there.
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Screwed....

Postby faded » Tue Oct 16, 2007 11:34 pm

With this new order my CS obligation was reduced from 1k per month to $355. What would happen if I just didn't pay the alimony? For some reason, they have held off seeking a wage garnishment. Couldn't I be sent to jail for contempt? Also the house has been for sale for the last six months (no bites). With this new order, there is not enough money left to pay even one house note (much less, utilities, car note, food, etc...). If I pay her alimony, then I need to just pack up and move out and let the house go to foreclosure. I'd be losing 40k in equity. I'm in my late 40's, unless I suddenly become rich I'd never own a house again.

If I file a motion for reconsideration, does that stave off the order to pay alimony until the motion is considered?

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Postby Thoughts? » Tue Oct 16, 2007 11:49 pm

Support can be backdated to the date that a motion was made. It won't put a stay on accrual of arrears, but if you win the judge can back-date it.

With regard to contempt, the key to avoiding a contempt charge is to show intent to pay at least something. Cut back on unnecessary expenses. Pay your CS. And pay some moderate amount on the alimony, even if it's only $50 per pay period.

Then let her sue you.

She could spend $5k, take you to court for enforcement...and, ideally, you would get nothing more than a wrist slap. Yes there are always exceptions & horror stories out there. Doubtful you would be thrown in jail if you are paying CS, can show you've reduced your standard of living, and are making at least some contribution to spousal support.
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