What if X is consistantly late on pickups?

[dad123]

Does anyone have a clause in their paperwork for the forfeiture of custody if X is over a certain amount of time late for pick ups? And what is that time? I am currently finalizing Orders to Modify, so this would be a good time to address it.

[Fatheroffour]

Just wondering if you plan on it working in reverse.

If you are late does she get to keep the kids until your next designated parenting time?

[Trevor]

I am not sure such a clause would go over well, unless there was a significat distance between parents where the lack of communication about the lateness causes a big hardship. But even in that case, say you drive an hour, she misses, you wait 30 minutes, but she still is no call/no show...then you drive home; means she would be required to drive to where the child is when she does show up. I can't see her losing parenting time because she was late for a traffic pileup or a train or some other unavoidable hindrance.

If she is constantly late, and you can prove it, I'd push for a later transition rather than the loss of parenting time.

[minuette]

...say you drive an hour, she misses, you wait 30 minutes, but she still is no call/no show...then you drive home; means she would be required to drive to where the child is when she does show up...

I agree with the spirit of this. If chronic lateness is a significant issue (30-60+ minutes each exchange), I don't see any value in requiring any sort of exchange point outside of either parent's locality. It might work better to request that exchanges take place at the exchanging parent's residence, a public place nearby, or at the child's school or day care, with the receiving parent doing the driving.

So, if Mom lives at Point A and Dad lives at Point B, Dad drives to A for his pickups and Mom drives to B for her pickups. And if Mom happens to run late, Dad can hang with the kid(s) at home or close to home without it being a huge deal, and vice versa. And Dad will learn never to make plans on exchange days that depend upon Mom being punctual.

[StingerT]

I am new here, I am on here to try to get information to help my brother gain custody of his kids. Hope you don't mind a woman being on here

My attorney told me to wait around 15 minutes for my ex. Then that way I am giving him time to get here but not being < hindquarters > about it either. However, if he is honestly in traffic, had to work late and I don't have plans I wait. There was a period of time he would just count on me to wait and started taking advantage of it, I just told him he had until 6:15 and at that time I would be leaving, and that worked. People have to work together of course but there has to be respect and compromise.

[dr_white]

That exact thing happened with the ex- and I. It was brought into court, and the judge ordered the "15 minute rule". If either party is 15 minutes late for a drop-off/pickup, the late party forfeits their next Parent-Time.

[beingdad]

I agree with minuette. I get around the whole lateness issue for most of the year by making drop-off and pick-up at school. We are week-on and week-off Our exchange is first morning of school every week i.e. I have responsibility to get kids to school on first morning of school (worded to take care of long weekends, holidays etc.). Ex has to pick them up from school and then has them to first school morning the following week. It is great because I do not have to deal with her and saves driving etc since kids take bus from my house.

Exchange in the summer we do meet on Mondays at a set time and don't leave for meeting place until we have text confirmation that both will be on time.

This works because kids have clothes at each house and we don't sweat the details of what clothes go back and forth, although I do try to make sure they don't wear the really good clothes on Monday mornings. lol

[beingdad]

I forgot to mention another huge advantage of having exchange with a third party like school: the lack of drama. No contact, no drama.

[CCR]

I've seen the "15 minute rule" many times, but to add, I believe it only applies for that day. You have to repeat the same each day if it supposed to be the other parent's time.