x violating a no contact order with bf and my kids

[capslock]

don't blow your shot. get the proof before you pull the trigger.

if cops show up and guy isn't there, you miss your chance.

[aero_8]

Obviously it depends on the case, and the child, but there's a restraining order in place for a reason. If the courts have no reason to doubt dad's testimony, dad's word, "my 5 year old daughter indicated that some guy who looks EXACTLY like NJ's BF was present" is sufficient for the family courts... Best interest of the child standard. It's not sufficient to have the BF thrown in jail for the restraining order violation, unless you can convince the police of that.

At least hold onto your kids until you can get some advice from your attorney.

[anxiousdad]

my attorney said to call the cops next time they go to mom's trailer.
however, like a previous poster replied, if I call the cops and he is not there, I will end up looking like a crazy stalker and she will end up getting a PPO against me.
I am going to call my lawyer on monday and talk to him about this, but currently the plan is to hire a PI, unfortunately that will take a couple weeks to get the money together.
However, everything I have taken to the courts thus far about this guy has been spot on, so they would have no reason to doubt me.
On the other side, our family counselor hates me.
anytime I have called to talk to her about anything with this situation, she has told me to "stop tattling on her," and to have my attorney file the paperwork.
Every time he files the paperwork her and the judge go along with it though. Last time we were in her office she told the NJ to "get help" and "get your life together" and "this is not someone the judge wants your children to be around"
It's a really tricky situation with the courts, they don't like me because I am a pit bull, and when the counselor yells at me, I argue back with her. Even my attorney hates the family counselor and has told me that she hates me.
Though from what I hear, the family counselors at FOC are generally nasty people and yell at everybody. My particular family counselor though, her husband owns the company that SHE sends children to for supervised < parenting time >. talk about kickbacks.

[capslock]

as i've heard on here, don't give the court a choice. give them the evidence they need to make the ruling.

[anxiousdad]

update:
I hired a PI and went for broke(now I am broke)
He got footage of him leaving on a bicycle as she was pulling into the driveway with the kids after we exchanged the kids at the police dept.

An hour later they got a guy coming back on a bike, wearing a different shirt but still looking like the guy in the pic I gave them. he remained there, then her and him came out and cleaned out her car together.

The car then left, the PI didn't observe the children getting into the car(he said maybe he just missed them?) so he knocked on the door and nobody answered. I told him they may have gone to the beach by her house(he couldn't follow them, they live on a dead end road and it would have been obvious he was tailing them) so he went to the beach, didn't see the car there and went back to her trailer.
The car was already back and he hasn't seen any activity as of yet.

I think this should be enough, the court order explicitly states that she is to have no contact with this man during her parenting time.

I am going to go in to the office tomorrow and review the footage

[capslock]

Good job. So if it is proof, what are the plans?
Contempt or parenting time modification?

[anxiousdad]

Sole legal/physical with supervised < parenting time > is what I am hoping for.

I just realized why he didn't catch the kids getting in the car when they left, and the obvious answer is that she left my 5 and 2 year old children in her trailer unsupervised.

[capslock]

Let us know how your attorney decides to use the evidence. I had a similar hearing. It was effective holding evidence in the back pocket, leaving particulars out of the affidavit, getting the ex to testify, then presenting the evidence. With the P.I. on the witness list, the ex may confess to no violations, all the violations, or some not including those that you could prove and impeach herself.
You get that evidence from a P.I. it is gold.
Keep us updated please.

[a dad]

For clarity, it sounds like the time they were provably all together is after he rode back, when "he remained there" before cleaning out the car. It wasn't when they may have left together and/or kids were home alone. Even though that would be nice to know.

[grgr]

Sorry, but I would put the PI on it again to get solid documentation that the kids were actually with him. The PI needs to be there from the time you give the kids to her to be able to document them going into the house. What happens when your ex claims the kids were elsewhere, like visiting gma's, playing at a friend's house, or whatever. I would make it air tight with no wiggle room.